Are you Breathing?

Quote of the month:

Enlightenment is always there.

Small enlightenment will bring great enlightenment.

If you breathe in and are aware that you are alive—

that you can touch the miracle of being alive—

then that is a kind of enlightenment.

-Thich Nhat Hanh

Photo courtesy of LanningsLandscapes.com

Are you breathing?

I can hear a chorus of all of you saying, "Yes, of course I am breathing!"

So how do you know you are breathing?

Now you add, "I have to be breathing or I wouldn't be alive."

When I asked that question, you most likely went to your mind for the answer. That is typically what we do.... when faced with a question, let the mind figure it out.

Let's take just a few minutes and "think" about this a little differently. Even better, I'd like to suggest that we not "think" about it at all, but answer the question from direct experience.

Take a minute and breath with me.....

You may want to focus on the serene photograph above, taken by friend of mine, as you breath in and count slowly to yourself 1...... 2...... 3....... feel your lungs fill with air and your belly and chest rise. Hold it just for a moment and then exhale in a comfortable manner. Feel your shoulders fall. Pause just a moment again at the end of the exhale before inhaling again. Repeat a few times. You may count, not count, inhale or exhale through your nose or mouth. It is not important for this exercise, just keep it comfortable, a little slowed from your normal pace and put your attention fully on your body and on the actual breathing.

Notice how pleasing it actually feels to breathe..... can you "touch the miracle" of being alive as Thich Nhat Hanh says in the quote says above? Do you have gratitude at being able to breathe? Some people cannot breathe freely due to asthma or other illness. I will add breathing to my gratitude list from last Thanksgiving!

Now.... let me ask the question again... Are you breathing? Now, how do you know?

As always, I would love to hear your feedback or questions. You may submit them by clicking on the "comments" link at the end of the post.

To look at more beautiful photographs at LanningsLandscapes.com..... click here.

To add "breathing" (or anything else) to our Community Gratitude List..... click here.

To do a mini-meditation.... click here.

To read last month's post on Me-Me-Me..... click here.

Until next month,

Keep it Simple!
Penelope

Feeling Fear: Turn the Lions into House Cats!

Quote of the month:

The only thing we have to fear...

is fear itself.

- Franklin D. Roosevelt

In March, we used the idea of lions and tigers and bears.... [Oh my!] to describe our fears. Now let's talk about what to do with that fear. The truth is, most of us don't like to experience fear. When faced with the possibility of actually feeling fear, most of us have elaborate methods we use in order NOT to feel it!

Why?

As FDR stated in the quote above.... we are afraid of fear. The nebulous fear that we have is that if we allow fear to surface, we will not be able to handle it.

Honestly, this is the most difficult post I've attempted to write so far.... because the truth is, this topic is not that easy to make "simple." Yes, I am suggesting that we expend a lot of energy NOT actually feeling the fears we began uncovering in the Why Process (December 2008) and further looked into in the post on fear (March 2009). Now I am now suggesting that we do try to feel them! So, before you aim your mouse for that "X" on the top corner of the page to close this out, give me a few more lines..... or paragraphs, to explain why this might actually be a good idea.

The primary reason this is a good idea is that by feeling the fear, it is released.... gone! Over! Most of us, myself included, often resist feeling, which actually holds the energy of that feeling inside. Initially, this can make one feel tired, achy, uncomfortable, overwhelmed. Over time, I strongly believe that emotions that are not felt, can lead to more serious illness. This is NOT to say that it's not real or it's all in our heads, but rather what is in our heads can affect what is going on in our bodies. Our heads are connected to our bodies by more than our necks! There is an intricate system linking our brains and our bodies, wherein each thought we have releases various chemicals into our bodies. There are many people who can speak on this subject with much more detail than I can... but even with this simple bit of knowledge, it makes sense that what we think, what we feel AND what we think about what we feel : ) can influence the body physically.

To cut to the chase.... the most simple way is just to do it.... just allow oneself to fully feel it... and then - the feeling is gone.....and you will probably wonder why you waited so long! Most of us do not do that...... myself included!!!!!!! Most of us resist feeling!
You've probably heard the saying, what you resist, persists.... As long as you resist, the feeling is going to stick around and try to makes itself known. So let me give you some techniques.

There was an old Blue's Clues (cartoon) episode on frustration when my son was little.
The advice they gave was to:

1- STOP,
2 - breath and
3 - think.

You know how I like to keep it simple. This really is great advice... but let's expand on it just a bit!

The basic keys to feeling fear.... or any other emotion are:
(Note: Each of these could probably be it's own post, so consider this as an introduction.)

1 - STOP - interrupt whatever the habitual pattern is that we usually fall into in dealing with fear. This is to give you a gap of time between whatever it is that is triggering you and acting. [The gap is used to determine what is really going on and eventually determining the course of action, if any.]

Answer the question, how am I resisting?

There are a multitude of ways.... probably as many ways as there are people. A clue for you is if you begin to notice any type of repetitive behavior such as smoking, reaching for a drink, reaching for a piece of candy... or even more socially accepted methods such as shopping, or working too much.... or even things you may not realize..... like glazing over watching a TV show, playing a video game or going out dancing. (None of these things is "bad" in and of itself.... I am simply suggesting that if you do any of these repetitively, there may be something more there.)

The way to tell if you are using a certain behavior to resist or avoid is quite simple according to Gary Zukav. Simply refrain from doing the behavior.... and see how you feel... see what happens.... If you begin to feel uncomfortable, there is a good chance you are using that behavior to resist.

2 - Figure out what it is you are feeling. If you are not clear on what is causing your repetitive behavior (and this is quite normal!!!!) try revisiting the post on the Why Process. Get as specific as possible about the feeling... I call it, "getting under" what it seems like is on the surface and seeing what is really happening.... what you are really feeling. Another clue here is to try to move towards fear, like the teen with the scratch on his car, who appeared angry, but in reality was in fear about his social status.
Then -

3 - Remember an important point from My Stoke of Insight by Jill Bolte Taylor. An emotion only takes 90 seconds to physically move through your body... it is like a wave with a beginning, a crest and an end. Initially it washes over you, the way a wave does, but then also recedes, the way a wave does.

So grab your surfboard ....here are my suggestions for "riding the wave".....

• Repeat your True Colors Phrase (January 2009) to remind yourself that what you are feeling is not entirely true (this is similar to the idea I've mentioned previously of re-programming a computer, taping over an old tape or resynching the I-pod.)

Though this explanation is from a spiritual perspective, there is a scientific explanation as well. The brain has developed connections from repeated behavior. This can be likened to walking over and over on the same dirt path. After a while, a trench is formed. The trench can be more difficult to climb out of than stepping off the path earlier on... as more and more connections have now formed in the brain... but it is still quite possible to climb out of the trench. You do this by forming new connections in the brain. The True Colors Phrase is one of those new connections.

• Try to step out of the emotion the way Gary Zukav describes stepping out of a river (the emotion) and on to a bridge above so that you can both view it and are not swept away by it. Eckhart Tolle calls this consciousness or being in the "observer" mode.  This means to try to observe the emotion rather than "becoming" it.  For additional reading on this subject, see The Voice, 8/2009 and the Observer 9/2009. 

I have a name for it too. I call it "sitting with it." A way to think of it is as "allowing." It has to do with just "sitting with" the feeling and allowing it to pass through you or wash over you. Not fighting it, not resisting it... AND not acting on it in the way you typically might. For 90 seconds attempt to allow it pass through your body. Watch a clock if you have to. If you must, at the end of the 90 seconds, scream into a pillow, kick your mattress or punch a punching bag! I also suggest journaling afterwards, yoga, exercising, or meditation!
It is us (the ego) who spends the remainder of the time (and our energy) resisting the feeling in all sorts of ways as described above. Anything that takes longer than 90 seconds....lets you know there is resistance of some sort going on. But don't be hard on yourself, EVERYONE resists something...most of us many things!

• Let me add.... a final step
  BREATHE!!!!!! Part of the others but worth mentioning.

AS ALWAYS, I suggest starting with something simple....something that does not really create a great amount of fear. I am going to start with the example of someone getting in line in front of you in the "10 items or less" line with 16 items.....clearly more than they should have...

A quick why process...... maybe it is anger.... ask why does it make you angry?
It's not right?
It's not fair?
It's making you wait longer?
Why does that make you angry?
I always end up getting the short end of the stick.
Why does that upset you (vs. why it might upset me?)
It makes me feel unimportant.

A-HA! See, that is the real feeling! The fear! Outwardly, before, you might have rolled your eyes or looked at another person in line as if to say, "Can you believe this guy?" but now you know... it is really caused because you are feeling unimportant!!! (In my example, your reason may be different!)

Whatever YOUR particular reason....try just "sit with it." Use that extra time in line to actually feel the anger.... please DO NOT ACT..... just feel.... inside. No one else need know what is happening inside you.

A point I want to make very clear here is that lashing out at someone, becoming violent or abusive, yelling at someone.... these are ways people may typically think they feel their emotions. I want to clarify that these behaviors are a CHOICE one makes AFTER the feeling arises. It often happens SO rapidly that we do not feel it as separate or as a choice... but it is. I am suggesting STOPPING BEFORE that choice is made and experiencing the feeling fully. If you can do that, there will be no need to yell, etc. [I may have previously suggested mindfulness and meditation once or twice....ok maybe 6 or 8 times before..... to help with slowing this whole process down!!!!]

See if you feel something in your stomach (uneasy stomach), your chest (faster heart rate), your throat (tightening) or your face (hot, red, etc.) Breathe! This is the actual energy of the emotion moving through your body. Allow it to! Breathe! You will see that after it is finished.... IT IS GONE!

**NOTE - if this is a particularly difficult issue for you, please pick another one such as a traffic jam, a long line at the bank, someone cutting you off in traffic, bad weather....etc.... just something that is not your most difficult issue.....something little first that will pass through you much more easily and with much less resistance.]
I always suggest starting with those issues that don't "push your buttons" so to speak because this is like developing a muscle. You don't go out and run a marathon without training. This is like developing spiritual muscle. With that muscle...... you really can turn those lions and tigers....into house cats!

I would love to hear your feedback as well as any questions you may have or topics you may be interested in for the future. You may comment at the bottom at the blog where it says "comments." All posts will be archived on my blog along with other useful information at: Simply Spirituality or http://simplyspirituality.blogspot.com/

To continue reading next month's post on Intuition, click here.

Until next month....
Here's hoping you keep your spirituality simple!
Penelope

Picture of the month:

Puff the Housecat, FL, July 1998

Just for this Moment!

Bonus April post! Just for this one moment....

I have an idea.... just for one moment.... STOP, pause your mental I-pod, tape or CD (whatever works for you!) .... don't even worry about what it is saying right now. Take one, full, deep, breath.... do it one more time with your eyes closed.... Be here right now..... with me!

Now, relax your shoulders, especially if you are sitting at a computer we often sit with them tensed... push them down and lengthen your neck. Next, soften your eyes a bit. Are you scrunching your face up somewhere? Maybe your forehead? Relax it a bit. Is your jaw clenched? Open it slightly.

Right now, in this moment, what do you really HAVE to do? You HAVE to breathe and your heart HAS to beat. You body and brain take care of both of those, along with a host of other things you don't have to think about, so don't worry too much about them for this moment.

Is there anything else you HAVE to do right at this exact moment? OK, you are reading... possibly sitting. Your hand may be sitting on the mouse or keyboard... or holding a page of paper, depending on how you reading this post.

You have allowed yourself 2-3 minutes to read this post. Attempt for those 2 or 3 minutes not to rush through this... [I'll make it a short one, I promise!] Try to be present in your chair, reading these words.

Is there REALLY anything else you HAVE to do right NOW?

In a while, you will HAVE to eat some food, drink some water, use the rest room..... and later sleep. Your body will let you know when each of those things is necessary... so don't worry about them for this moment either.

Take notice of what is going on around you......

Observe the area where you are sitting. Do you have pictures of your family or friends? Observe the desk or chair where you are sitting. Do you have a calendar with interesting pictures on it? A window with a view of water or trees? How often do you notice each of these things?

Do you hear anything? Music? TV? People talking? A fan, heater or air conditioner running? A dog barking? Children playing.... or in my case fighting? Even if it is loud or there are other people around, just take notice of them for a moment. Try not to judge any of it.

Do you smell anything? Is something cooking? Does the dog need a bath? ; )

What can you feel? Can you feel the chair beneath you? Are your feet on the floor? Can you feel the keys or mouse under your fingers? Have you ever noticed that before?

In this particular moment, this is really all there is "to-do"......

Later, you may have a phone call to make, work you brought home, clothes to fold, e-mail to go through, bills to pay, dinner to make, a tax return (or extension) to finish .... or a dozen or 2 other things on the to-do list, but if you have decided to continue reading this far, congratulate yourself on putting them aside and taking 2-3 minutes for yourself .... and guess what else....... doing a mini-meditation!

Notice how you are feeling.... do you feel a little bit more relaxed? Were you able to pause the mental I-pod momentarily? If you feel a bit more relaxed or enjoyed reading these few paragraphs, this post will remain here, so you can come back any time you like..... and we can do it again! Simply look in the navigation box on the top of the right column for the post, "Just for this Moment!" and take another moment for yourself!

To continue reading next month's post on Feeling Fear: Turn the Lions into House Cats! Please click here.

Here's hoping you keep your spirituality simple!
Penelope

Picture of the Month (Bonus!)

Sunset in Key West, FL, August 2003

Introduction to Simply Spirituality

Quote of the month:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I - I took the one less traveled by,

and that has made all the difference.

-Robert Frost

Welcome to the launch of my monthly blog, Simply Spirituality.
Several of my friends and family have indicated an interest in my spiritual endeavors or asked me questions about it over the years. I am writing this to answer those questions, and also to share ideas about what I have learned. There is also a section for comments at the end of the blog, if you would like to discuss any of the topics presented. If this information is not new to you, maybe there are other people around you, also, that have questions or may benefit from such information. If you would like to forward this on, please feel free to do so. Also, please let me know if you prefer to be added to my e-mail notification list.
People tell me one or both of two things, when it comes to spirituality. First, either they simply do not understand what spirituality is or secondly, that they do not have time to do anything else in their busy lives.
My intention is to provide very simple, concise ways to have a basic understanding of what spirituality means to me, as well as ways to easily apply it in your own life, if you should choose to do so. This in no way is saying these are things that I think you "should" do. They are simply things that I have found to be of use in my life. If something resonates with you, try it in your own life. This blog will provide some very simple examples of things you can do today...right NOW if you choose.

I have a second intention in writing this blog. That is for my two boys to have this as as a reference as as they get older.

A few thoughts about the word "Spirituality."

• Spirituality is one of those words that has a certain dictionary meaning, but also carries with it personal meaning for each individual.
• Spirituality is NOT a religion...nor does not contradict religion....or even atheism for that matter. There are both atheists who read this and those of deep faith in various religions. If you choose to interpret the things I write in terms of a specific religion, that is fine...but it is not necessary.
• The English word "spirit" comes from the Latin "spiritus" which means breath!
• Spirituality has to do with the search for answers to questions about.. Why am I here? Who am I? Where is true meaning?
• Spirituality is about awareness and mindfulness.
• Within that awareness, it is about choosing behaviors, rather than reacting out of habitual patterns and.......... becoming more of who you truly are.
• To me personally, it is about living the best life I can ....but NOT about doing that with perfection.

The first post, will focus on meditation.....but not so much on the traditional form of sitting and chanting. That has its place, but in order to introduce oneself to the idea of meditation, the first thing is just to become aware of one's thoughts. I would like to hear your feedback as well as any questions you may have or topics you may be interested in for the future. You may list them in the comments section at the end of the blog. All posts will be archived on my blog along with other useful information at Simply Spirituality or http://www.simplyspirituality.blogspot.com/

To continue on to the next post on Meditation, click here....

Until next month...
Here's hoping you keep your spirituality simple!
Penelope

Picture of the month:
Sunrise over Biscayne Bay, Miami, FL October, 1999