Imagine you are a man at a party…. and a very attractive woman approaches you and begins talking. Inside, your mind is racing…. “What was her name?!?! Marge? Margaret? No! NO! That‘s not it! Why can‘t I remember? Marie? Maria? NO! I met her at Whole Foods and here she is again! Looking better than ever! What an idiot I am!” The woman continues to talk, but you are only catching half of what she is saying because you are locked in the fear of not remembering her name! Finally, she mentions someone you both know and POP…. you remember! “Marcella! MARCELLA! Whew! Thank goodness I remember before she figured out how foolish I am!”
In the above paragraph, who is it that is doing all that talking? The voice you hear in your head? Who is it? You would probably say, “Me!” Well, then, I have another question….. who is it, that is doing the listening? Would you say “Me” again?
Have you ever noticed this mental dialogue, the voice in your head, that is going on nearly all the time? Here is another example....
It’s 3 AM…. “I have to remember to buy toothpaste. I can’t sleep! I should try a new toothpaste. I don’t like the one I have now. The dry cleaning should be ready. When I go to the store tomorrow for the toothpaste, I’ll have to get the dry cleaning too. Why can’t I sleep? It’s supposed to rain tomorrow….. We need some rain, so guess that is a good thing……. Hope it‘s not raining when I go out tomorrow for the toothpaste…. and the dry cleaning…..”
Is that you too? Is it you that is talking? What about listening? Are you also the one that is listening? If that is so, then why are you keeping yourself awake at 3 AM? And why won’t that voice just be quiet?
Right now if you are telling yourself, “She’s crazy! I don’t have a voice in my head!” That IS the voice I am talking about, says Michael Singer, in The Untethered Soul. He suggests to try making it say, “Hello!” right now. Can you hear it? “Hello! Hello!” Can you make it say, “Hello!” louder? “HELLO! HELLO!” How about making it whisper? “hello”…. can you “hear” it differently inside your head?
The simple suggestion I am making this month is to become aware that there is a voice talking in your head almost all the time. I have previously referred to the voice, in a slightly different way, as your “mental tape, CD or I-pod.” Singer uses the analogy of having a roommate with you all of the time. Eckhart Tolle describes it as having an inner tour guide, with you. ALL of the time. This tour guide there 24/7. It is narrating life, for you, as it goes by. In either case, if it were a real person, how long do you think you could stand to have them around? Especially at 3 AM!
What I want to suggest in this post is to begin to think of yourself as the OBSERVER of the voice. Yes, the voice is inside your head, in your mind, or a part of the ego or personality…. But since you can also hear the voice, consider the possibility that you can just observe it. You do not have to believe or follow everything it says. Singer suggests the following analogy. Suppose you are looking at three things….. Let’s say a book, a plate and a computer screen. He asks, “Which of those is you?” You would say, “None of them, I am looking at them.” He suggests this is how to see the voice as well. Look at it, but don’t necessarily believe it is all of who you really are.
Where did the voice come from? Let’s start from when you were little. The first people who helped create the voice were your parents, family, close friends. They tell you your name, where you live and teach you to speak English, unless of course you live in China, and then you learn Chinese, or in India, Hindi.
You may go to church and learn about God….. or Allah… As you grow up you go to school and learn how to count and read and write. You also learn things that are important in your culture. The culture contributes to the voice as well… think about what types of things you learned growing up in the culture of the United States.
If you had grown up in Egypt, you would have learned that you always use your right hand to eat, and you always leave some food on your plate.
But, if you grew up in Germany, you would have learned that it is considered polite to finish everything on your plate.
If in Columbia, you would have learned that it is polite to try everything you are given at a meal.
In Senegal, you would have learned that you do not begin eating until the eldest male does.
So if you are a German visiting Egypt, your voice might say something about how rude they are to leave food on their plates. Or an American woman visiting Senegal, your voice may question why everyone is looking at you strangely, when you start eating first.
The role and influence of the media could be an entire post in itself….. Suffice it to say that it plays a large role in how we view things in this country…. What we like, dislike, value, talk about, want to know about…. Who is dating who or if Jon and Kate will get a divorce or not.
I am not saying any of this is “bad”…. I am simply suggesting that the voice you have in your own head is largely shaped by where you were born, if you were born a boy or a girl, who raised you, if you are white or African American, Christian or Muslim, the education you received, if you were raised in the United States of America, South Africa, Europe or South America….. the schools you went to, your religious background, what you watch on TV, read in magazines and listen to on the radio…… and that the voice in your head may very well be quite different from the voice in my head!
My suggestion is that you do have the ability to simply be the observer of the voice… and moreover you do NOT have to believe EVERYTHING the voice says. You can just be aware that the voice is there….be aware where it may have come from…. and then choose if you want to listen to it or not!
To take it just a step further... and maybe we will explore this further in a later post, I’d like to suggest that in the observer position is where peace lies. Some may call this the experience of God, or Jesus or your soul… scientists may say it is a chemical reaction in our complex brains that allows us to sense peace. I will not attempt to answer that… and will leave it to you to decide for yourselves. What is true for me, is that PEACE is a good place to be!
To continue reading next month's post on The Observer, click here.
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Until next month....
Here's hoping you keep your spirituality simple!