3 Years! Really!?

Happy 3rd Birthday!

Yes!  Really! 


It has been 3 years since the start of this blog and this post marks the beginning of FOURTH year!!!!!

The past couple of months have brought a record amount of comments (more directly and some on the post) as well as new followers, new sign up for notification and a few other "likes" and followers on both blogger and facebook!!!! 

For all of the new people....  WELCOME! 


I am glad you have found something of value for you on the blog!

There are those that have been with me from the start, cheering me on..... and those that have joined along the way.... To ALL of you... I want to take this opportunity to thank you! Your support means a lot to me!  

I started this blog with 2 intentions in mind....

1 - for this to be here for my children... so one day if they wonder what it was their mom was "doing," they may find some answers... and

2 - for those of you who may have an interest in spirituality but either don't know what it is or feel your life may be too busy... I'll restate my intention here again...

To provide simple, concise ways to apply spirituality in your every day life. If something I suggest resonates with you, try it out in your own life... experiment... if not.... that is fine too!  Maybe it will next month!

NOW..... as we move forward into the fourth year...... 


I would like to hear from YOU!

-Do you have any questions about things that have been written in a post?
-What would you like to see addressed in a post?

-Do you have a situation in your life right now that you have a question about that might be addressed by a post?

-Anything else that is on your mind.....

I would love to hear from you either in the comments section below.

If you receive notification of posts by e-mail, you can also reply to that e-mail!

Thank you!!!!!


And HAPPY 3rd BIRTHDAY Simply Spirituality!!!
Penelope

Judgments, Tiger Woods.... and Anthony Weiner... and Rep. David Wu.... and You!

Photo of the Month:

One Human Family, Key West, 2007

Quote of the Month:
Let it run like water off

a duck's back.....

- Kathryn D.

My grandmother may not be the first person to say this quote above, but she is the one who taught it to me. It fits with this month's theme of judgment.

The original title of this post was Judgments, Tiger Woods and You!  Posted in March of 2010.. less than 18 months ago.  At that time, Tiger Woods was the latest in a long line of public figures such as John Edwards, David Letterman and Bill Clinton to fall from Grace because of their actions.  Reading these names today, we have probably forgotten the extent of the hoop-la and media circus surrounding these events because they have been replaced by Anthony Weiner, Eliot Spitzer and Rep. David Wu.  

At that time, the collective "we" was judging Tiger's actions.  The media and just about everyone in the world was judging "the apology." Was it sincere? Was it enough? Did it strike the right tone? I find this to be a waste of time... I'll share with you why I feel that way.

In each "judgment" there are two sides. There is the person being judged and the one doing the judging. In this post, I want to suggest that while neither may be a good place to be, the far more detrimental position is to be in the position of judging. Let me be clear here, that the harm I am referring to is the harm it causes to the one doing the judging, not the one being judged.

When someone judges you, it says SOMETHING about them and it says NOTHING about you. I know that this is something people say... but it really is true.

To illustrate this point, let's view this from the position of the person being judged. Think for a minute of a situation where you felt judged. We have all been there, probably repeatedly. Maybe your situation was not as public as Tiger Woods. Maybe you were judged for the clothes you wore to a particular event, the way you handled a situation, not doing "enough" for the PTA or a church event, or the words you used when speaking to someone. These are common, every day judgments that many of us make and many of us are the recipient of. Can you think of a time when you felt judged?

Now the next thing I want you to imagine, seems at first nearly unthinkable..... but there is great freedom if one can do it.

What if you just decided that it was OK for people to judge you and so said to the world, "Go ahead.... judge away!" For example.... I will allow people to judge me for wearing the wrong shoes to an event (as I do this regularly!) : )

Try to stop for a minute and imagine this situation....... What happens?

Has anything REALLY happened to you? Have you been diminished in any way? What is a judgment? It is a thought in someone else's head..... how can a thought in someone else's head REALLY effect you? Even if they verbalize the thought to another person.... and it becomes a thought in a second person's head...... what has happened to you?

NOTHING!!!!!

Think about it for a minute............ it is very freeing.

So now.... in my example Sue told Carol that my shoes were inappropriate for the situation. How does that effect me? What happens to me?

NOTHING!!!!!

I can hear some of you saying, "But it feels bad when someone judges you!" I want to suggest that the only way it can feel bad is if you jump on the bandwagon and agree with them. You then become the judger of yourself..... but be clear it is doing the actual judging that feels bad and not because you have been judged.

Follow? If you do not agree with them, you simply go on with your day!

It is the energy of judging that feels bad itself. We have not been taught this. Most of us feel like we need to accept someone else opinion. It is not really even conscious. We just do it.... if they think that about me, it must be true. This is not the case. We do not have to accept anyone else's opinion of ourselves.

Try telling the flower that you do not like its shade of yellow. Does the flower care? If someone says that they like the color blue and don't like the color red, all we know is their opinion. It does not carry any further meaning like "blue is good" or "red is bad." Do you think that "red" really cares what they think? We can be just like "red" in this example and let it "roll, like water off a duck's back," as my grandmother said.

See if you can follow this a step further.... when someone judges, THEY are the ones who have to live in the energy of judgement. This is where it says something about them and NOTHING about you. This is where the "damage" is done. This is where the negative feelings come from. This could be a whole other post, but think about a time when you judged someone else. How did you REALLY feel afterwards? Did it really make you feel good? Maybe for a moment as you felt "better" than them for a second or two, but that is trading a fleeting good feeling for a long term negative feeling.

I feel the need to clarify here that I am in no way giving anyone permission for bad, or even unkind behavior with this post. Additionally, unless someone has a mental or emotional illness (and we are not addressing that in this post) one KNOWS when they have done something "wrong." One does not need to be told by others that it was wrong I would suggest that when someone does exhibit "bad" behavior, it is a statement about how they are feeling about themselves.... for additional reading on this topic... try the post titled The Gift of Compassion!

I'll leave you with one more thought... as the photo above suggests and quoting Albert Einstein, "A human being is part of a whole, called by us the Universe.....  He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and affection for a few persons nearest us.  Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circles of compassion to embrace all living creatures.... "  We are all part of the same one human family.  A related topic for another day!    

As always I would love to hear your feedback as well as any questions you may have, or suggested topics for the future. You can do so by clicking the "comments" link at the end of the post.

Until next month,

Here's hoping you keep it simple,

Penelope

Perspective

Photo of the month:

Perspective, Key West, unk.

Quote of the month:

We must get right with ourselves. 

 Once, we do, we will have so much to do, 

we will not have time to keep track of who is wrong.

I'm okay, you're okay, let's get to work.

-Iyanla Vanzant

Today I stopped by a Pennsylvania Dutch Market. Being half Pennsylvania Dutch, I find it somewhat difficult to pass by these markets! My family tells me that there were both "plain" and "fancy" Pennsylvania Dutch and we were of the fancy variety, so we used electricity and did not use horse and buggies!

Today, there was a pig roast going on and I decided to try the pork. There was a man standing in line behind me and he ordered a container of pork. When he got to the end to pay, he said that he wanted BBQ sauce. The women working the stand offered him a container of sauce. He said that he wanted the sauce on the pork. The women said that it did not come that way and repeated their offer to provide a container of sauce separately. He started to become angry and loudly said, "Yes! It does come that way!" 

Amish women

At this point I felt a bit compelled to stay behind and defend the women if need be. The women looked a bit stunned, but it turned out that they did not need defending. One of them stepped up to explain, politely, that if he wanted to purchase a pre-made sandwich, they would put the BBQ sauce on if he wanted it that way, but if he bought bulk pork he would have to purchase the sauce separately. She went on to say that they had to buy the sauce and that it was very expensive for them so they had to charge extra for it. He eventually left without the sauce, but he was unwilling to consider that in this particular store, he might not know how they do things. It was his loss as the sauce, as well as the plain pork, was quite tasty!!!!!

Two things caught my attention. First, that the woman had stood up for herself... and did not need anyone else to defend her (I was privately very proud of her!) and secondly, that the man could not see that he had a different frame of reference... point of view... or perspective! Perspective used in the photo of the month above, makes the sun appear small enough to hold in ones hands.  It all depends on how one views things... from what angle or point of reference.  Somewhere, in some store or restaurant he was right. In this particular situation, they had a different method of preparation and a different frame of reference.

I have written about different perspectives in October of 2008 in a post titled, The Whole Elephant, which talks about the story of the blind men and the elephant. This seemed like a good opportunity to address it again.

This month, I want to suggest - - or challenge you - - to try to view things from a different point of view. I have no doubt that there will be opportunities in every day life! I am not suggesting that you change your opinion, simply consider that there may be another way to look at something. Easy examples are seen every day on the news and in politics. Closer to home, you may have a disagreement with a co-worker, boss, spouse, child or friend.

When one of these examples crosses your path -

First - close your eyes and take a deep breath. Go deep inside and silently ask - "Am I right?" You will get a sense of yes or no - right or wrong.

Next, if you feel that your position is "right," next ask yourself if you can consider that there might be another "right" position?

If so, either ask the other person to explain their perspective or research what it might be. For example, the man could have considered that the Pennsylvania Dutch may eat the pork without any sauce at all and simply provide it as a service to those that prefer it that way. Just because he had not previously seen it that way, did not make it wrong. There was the additional issue of cost as explained by the women. I don't know all the details.... but these are all things worth considering. Both positions are probably "right," given the proper context.

If you still feel that you are "right," ask yourself, "What will I accomplish by trying to prove that I am right?" Everyone likes to be "right," but consider that for you to be right you might have to make someone else "wrong." Remember, you do NOT want to feel "wrong." So, is it really in your best interest to prove your spouse, your children, or even you boss or co-workers are "wrong." Do you want them to feel "wrong?" In some situations, it may be warranted, but my suggestion this month is that often, the only thing benefiting from your being "right" is a boost to your ego.... with a corresponding dent to the ego of someone else.  Ask yourself, "Do I really want my children to feel "wrong?" or "Do I really need to be so 'right' that someone else feels "wrong" or "badly?"

Finally, even if you feel you are "right" and you feel you are justified, ask if being "right" will further your cause and really get you what you want. For example, if your overall goal is a peaceful harmonious relationship - even if you are "right" and you are ok with making someone else "wrong" .... in the end, will it really get you what you want?

I cannot answer these questions for you... but they might be questions worth considering.   As always, I would love to hear your comments or questions in the comment section below.

Until next month,

Keep it simple!
Penelope

Life as a Marathon

Photo of the Month

March 2001, Calle Ocho 5k, Miami

Quote of the month:

A journey of a thousand miles 

begins with a single step.

- Lao-tzu

Usually I like to use beautiful or inspiring photos as the photo of the month. This one may not be beautiful, but hopefully by the end of this post, it will be inspiring. I am using this photo this month because it is me, crossing the finish of my first run. It wasn't pretty.... but I completed the race. Thank you to my friend, Israel, for taking this photo of me back in 2001! I am just to the left of the orange cone wearing a white t-shirt. After this came other runs and longer runs.... but this was the first!

Although I had done some running when I was younger, it was never more than a few miles at a time. During a difficult and challenging time in my life, I took up long distance running, starting with a few 5k's, then a 7 mile and then a half marathon. The running became a metaphor for my life.... in that I could not always see the finish line, but I could always take one more step. All I needed to focus my attention on, was the step I was taking right here, right now, and trust that the finish line was still out there..... I couldn't see it and certainly did not know what it would look like.... but I knew that it was there.... at about mile 11 of the half marathon... that became really important!! 

I'll share with you what I learned.... see if any of it might apply to challenges you might face in your own life!


Life is like a marathon!

1 - There may come a time that we decide to do, or have to do something we never thought we would do.... or could do.

I never thought I could run 13.1 miles without stopping! That's for sure! I also never thought I would move across the country one time.... let alone 3 times in 5 1/2 years! Now, I've done both!

The lesson here - Don't decide you cannot do something until you at least try!  

2 - You may not be able to see the finish line but you can always take one more step.

As the quote above says, the journey starts with a single step. In a run, it begins with the crack of the gun going off to signal the start of the race. An average person takes 2000 steps/mile - so that would be  at least 6200 steps for a 5k!

With a long distance move, there are a lot of steps - showing the house, selling the house, inspections, repairs, signing papers, packing boxes, saying goodbye to dear friends, driving across country with kids and crying cats, buying a house, signing more papers, more inspections, unpacking boxes, changing the car registration, first day at a new school/job, setting up new doctors..... and on and on.... whew... I am getting tired all over again just thinking about it. Looking at all of these steps together may seem overwhelming. Piled on top of each other, it seems like a mountain. It seem insurmountable. Much as the finish line seems VERY far away in a marathon (or half marathon.) Breaking things down into bite size pieces makes them more manageable.

Once you get started, there may come times when you feel like you may not be able to make it to the end. This happened both in life and in running - but I could always take one more step. At step 5124, all you need to do is take step 5125! Don't think about the distance remaining!

The lesson here - As the quote above says, even something that seems insurmountable cannot be completed without starting! No matter how long and complicated an endeavor may be, simply start with the first step and keep taking whatever step you are on.... which leads to #3. 

3 - Be Present in the step you are taking - only this step.

I have written before about being Present or Mindful. In Taking Stock/Mindfulness, from July 2009, I wrote, being mindful simply means that we are paying attention. I used the example of a tight rope walker and how when walking on a high wire, one's attention can be no where else. The walker's full attention is on the step they are taking at that moment, the placement of the foot and where the weight is placed in the foot. In running, I focused on my foot hitting the pavement and stretching my leg for the next step. In moving - I knew I was getting too far ahead of myself when I started to get anxious about what teachers the kids might have or would there be a Target nearby? I knew it was time to bring my attention back to where I currently was.

The lesson here - I suggest Presence as often as possible in all aspects of life, challenge or not! 

4 - Even though you can't see the finish line - that is ok - Trust that it is out there.

At the beginning of a 13 mile run, the finish line is no where in sight, nor at the beginning of 1063 mile drive or the packing of the first box. It is natural to want to see it... but accept that you cannot.  Trust! Trust! Trust!  Even if things do not go as planned, Trust that you will find a way to fix it or work it out.  There are very few things in life that cannot be fixed.  

The lesson here - It is ok not to know how everything will turn out! Things usually do work out. I often ask.... "What is the alternative? That they won't work out?"  Usually not!

As always, I would love to hear your comments in the section below.

Until next month....

Keep it simple!
Penelope

MFP

Answer to question of the month.....
MFP = Maximum Fluoride Protection

Penelope's Fall Fashion Guide...?

Longer hemlines coming this fall! Stylesight Margaret Howell Fashions

Quote of the Month:

We are the only true experts on our journey to enlightenment. Filter all information through your own heart.- Daily OM

I wonder how many of you did a double take when you saw the title of this post.  Those of you who know me, know that I am known more for my "ugly" shoes than for following any sort of fashion trends!  Actually, I have several pairs of "ugly" shoes!  I threatened to pile all of them up and take a picture for the photo of the month!!!!  A friend suggested that might not be a good idea - so you get the skirt photos! 

One morning, a few days ago, I was trying to catch the headlines on the morning news shows.  I flipped to one station doing a piece on women's shoes and heard her say, "You know how women love shoes!" and another woman said, "They have a special place in my closet."  I know this may be true for some of you!   I quickly changed to a different channel and heard, "Next fall, the hemlines will be quite a bit longer again.  As little as six months ago, we wouldn't have believed we could like them at this length again!"  For a moment I felt as though I had entered the Twilight Zone..... I was Simply looking for the headlines.... not HEMlines...... AND did that woman just hear what she had said?  

"As little as six months ago, we wouldn't have believed we could like them at this length again." 

Let me clarify that I really do not care if you wear the longer hemline, the shorter one.... or no hemline at all!  This blog is definitely not becoming a site for fashion advice!   : )   At the same time, I am not anti-fashion.  Those of you have been following my posts for a while know that I am not anti-anything.  My aim is to be as judgement-less as I can.  What I do intend with this post is for us to examine our beliefs, where they came from and ask ourselves if the beliefs we have inherited are truly ours and true for us.   

Back to the woman reporting on hem lengths....  here is what I really heard her say.....

"These hem lines are reminiscent of the 1970's.  No one has really worn them much since then.  I, now, like the length of these hemlines.... The reason I now like them is because someone told me I should like them!"   

The Simple suggestion I am making this month is to be AWARE that other people may be guiding your choices under the guise of fashion advice!  Is it possible that in an effort to get you back to the stores the fashion industry has come out with a new idea?  This really  goes much further ..... in addition to people telling you what you should wear...... you can find people who will tell you what to eat, what shampoo to buy, what music to listen to, what books to read, what deodorant to buy, who to vote for, where to live, where NOT to live, what type of car to buy, what type of neighborhood to live in, what job to take.....  even what God to believe it.  I know I might have crossed a line with that last one, but I think it is important to include it as it is at the center of a lot of issues facing us today.... wars.... dividing us along political lines.... etc. 

On this blog, I previously wrote that in some ways this is helpful... in Wilderness of Intuition - June 2009.  Since we have many decisions to make every day and many of them are not really all that important in the scheme of things, the media can be helpful in making decisions about these things... such as which shampoo to use (just as an aside, I went to buy shampoo yesterday and was completely overwhelmed with the choices... what just happened to plain "normal" shampoo for "normal" hair??? Not sure how I missed this transition.... but I could have really used someone to tell me which one to buy!)   

So - I am not anti-fashion, anti-media or anti-advertising or anti-anything... I simply want to raise all of OUR awareness that many of the choices we may think we are making, may in fact be made for us, or at least influenced by, someone else..... and very often that someone else may not have our best interest in mind.
  

I always like to start with the Simple little examples.... it is pretty obvious to see that someone "made up" the length that hemlines "should be" in the fall (at least I hope it is!)  Here is another example.  I remember as a kid using Colgate Toothpaste and that it had "MFP Fluoride!"   As a kid, I thought it sounded very impressive and must have some special chemicals or something in there to make it REALLY good!  A little later in school I did a report on advertising and found out what MFP stands for!  Do you know?  I'll leave you hanging for a little while longer.... (further reading on this topic see The Voice, August 2009)

So - what is it I am really getting at this month?  I alluded to it in the quote above.  We are our own best experts!  I want you to learn to Trust yourself.... your own inner voice... your own guidance.  I call this "Intuition" and have written about it quite a bit on this blog.  That is because it is a guiding force in my life.
  

In my experience, there are 4 parts to intuition. 

1 - listen - tune into and become aware of the mental I-pod/CD/tape or voice that constantly plays in your head.  

2 - hear (distinguish) - distinguish the different voices and where they come from.  Identify voice of intuition.

3 - trust - trust what you hear intuition tell you.

4 - follow - take action!

Watch for more on each of these in the coming months!

If you would like to do some additional reading on Intuition in the meantime, try:

Wilderness of Intuition - June 2009 - This posts includes some suggestions to "play" with your intuition and some personal examples of intuition in my own life.

or 

Be Your Own Guru - January 2010  - This post gives a preview on hearing and trusting.  

Finally

Tolle on Intuition  - To read what Eckhart Tolle has to say about Intuition.

That's all for this month's addition of Penelope's Fashion Guide!  If you have read this far, you know it should be called, Intuition is your Guide... on fashion and everything else!

If you have any examples of intuition in your own life, please feel free to share them in the comments section below.  I think it is useful to talk about it and the ways it is working for others as I think we often miss it and don't realize that it was in fact intuition.  Or - you can just let me know what you'll be wearing this fall!

Oh, and we haven't had a Question of the month for a while... if you know what MFP stands for (regarding Colgate Toothpaste) enter it in the comments below too.  Answer next month! 

Keep it Simple!
Penelope

The Universe has a Sense of Humor

Sometimes I think the Universe has a sense of humor!  The post mentioned below, The December post on The Gift of Compassion, has recently been re-posted on another site, so I had recently re-read and thought about the things in the post. Today the Universe gave me an opportunity to practice....  Specifically the parts about remembering that someone who is behaving "badly" feels down or bad in some way and secondly, remembering to put my own feelings aside and treat them with dignity and respect anyway.  I felt compelled to share it with you!

I was walking through a parking lot towards a store in a strip mall. A truck drove up to drop someone off.  A rather large man got out, YELLING at the driver. He slammed the door and stomped off, but then turned around and continue to yell and swing his fists. 

Although coming from different angles, it became obvious that we were headed towards the same door of the same store... AND that we would arrive very close to each other. It was also obvious that I had witnessed his outburst. 

Ok Penelope, I thought to myself, opportunity here.... (Did I mention I was a little bit scared?!) Arriving at the door just before he did, I opened and held the door for him.  He said, "Hello Ma'am, how are you?" 

For a moment my ego questions "Ma'am?" Really? But quickly.... I jumped out of my own story, nodded and replied, "Good, how are you?" As soon as I said it, I realized this may not have been the best question given what had just happened... and he didn't answer. 

BUT, I thought to myself, I treated this man with respect, even when he may not have deserved  it... I held the door and spoke to him. I could not bring myself to make eye contact with him (out of fear.)  I could have done that better - but overall felt it was a successful test of the Universe challenging me to practice what I had written here on this blog.  

Any other stories out there?

Compassionate Societies

Hi everyone!  A quick note to let you know that my December post on The Gift of Compassion was picked up on the Compassionate Societies Website.   You can also reach the site at: http://www.compassionatesocieties.org/


A special thank you to my friend, Clarissa for connecting me with this site.  Look for her posts on the site as well! 


Penelope