What is NOW?

Sunset over the Gulf of Mexico, December 2007


Quote of the month:
Make each moment
an occasion to live
deeply,
happily, 
in Peace.
- Thich Nhat Hanh

What is NOW?  What is the Present?

I looked up "now" in the dictionary.  It says, "the present time or moment"...... so I had that much already!

Think of every moment leading up to this moment in time..... your birth, your first day of school, followed by middle and high school, what you did on your vacation last summer, what you had for dinner last night.... all of that is past.


Every moment that has not yet happened, that is future.  What you will eat for lunch tomorrow, how you will celebrate the New Year for 2012, where you will live in the year 2020.  


Try to imagine, just for a moment, that both of these - your past and future - do not exist...... 


Can you imagine it? 


What we are left with is NOW. 


Let's take it a step further.  In reality the past is over and not here in this moment.  What you had for dinner last night is not here in front of you.  The only way to access the past is to go into our minds, our memory, and think about it... remember it.  


Further, in reality the future has not happened yet.  The weatherman may make a prediction as to what it will be like tomorrow, but it is only that - a prediction or a guess.  You may make plans for your upcoming holiday or vacation, but it is not here yet.  The only way to access the future is to go into our imaginations and think about what it might be like. 


So, I am going to suggest something that may initially sound somewhat shocking.... but try to sit with it for a moment.  The reality is that the past and future DON'T EXIST!  All we ever have is right NOW!  


If that is the case, why do so many of us (myself included) act as if we are in the past or future?  Some planning for the future is necessary.  To paraphrase Marianne Williamson.... don't just show up at the airport and expect there will be a seat for you, on the plane where you want to go!  But many of us get lost in the future, like living for the weekend or looking forward to a special event, such as a vacation, to the exclusion of where you are in the moment.  


Many of us often act from the past as well.  Have you ever had a heated exchange with someone only to recount it over and over in your head for the next hour, or day or week... or longer.... and all the lucky people in your life also usually get to re-live it again with you!  We've all done that at some time in our lives!


I'll share an example from my own life. In 11th grade, I was a passenger in the front seat of a car that was in an accident.  My head hit and broke the windshield (I can hear some of you saying - "Oh, that explains a lot!")  ; )  My point is that to this day, I am still a very nervous passenger because of that accident nearly 30 years ago!  How can something that happened so many years in the past have such an influence on me NOW?  If I could let it be in the past, it would be over, right? 


My simple suggestion this month is to see how often you can "catch" yourself in the past or in the future.  When you do, do not give yourself a hard time, simply remind yourself that all we really ever have is right HERE, right NOW.  


To quote from The Peaceful Warrior, 
Socrates:  Where are you? 
Dan Millman:  Here. 
Socrates: What time is it? 
Dan Millman:  Now. 


It is always that way! 


As always, I would love to hear your thoughts.  Feel free to leave them in the "comments" section below. 


In a few days, I'll post some related writings from Leonard Jacobson on being Present.  


To read last month's post called I Got a Worm for my Birthday.... click here. 


Until then.... 
Keep it simple! 
Penelope

Now I'd like to.....

Read the post on Are you Breathing?

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Read the post on Whole and Complete

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Do a mini - meditation click here.......


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Watch One Minute in the Waves at Sunset.... click here!

I Got a Worm for my Birthday

Quote of the month:

Nobody likes me,

everybody hates me,

guess I'll go eat worms....

- unknown, childhood rhyme

How many of us sang that song when we were kids?  The idea behind it is someone is feeling sorry for themselves, making up a story in their heads and feeling so bad that they think they will go eat a worm!  I had just such a day.... read on......

I woke up on my 46th birthday, walked across the carpet and stepped on a worm.  Yes.... a worm.  I do not know how the worm got into my bedroom, but - it was there - and I don't think it was there to wish me a happy birthday!  I also understand that this was a much worse day for the worm.... I apologized to the worm.... but this is a post about MY 46th birthday, so back to our story!  

A little background.... I have long held out 45 as the middle of life - assuming one makes it to around 90-ish or so.  That meant that I am now in the second half of life.  For those of you that might argue, it really should have started the day I turned 45, rather than the day I turned 46, this is my illusion and my story... so I can make it up any way I want to!!!  ; )  

Call it a mini-mid-life crisis or whatever you want to .....  In reality, no one really knows when the "middle" of their life will be, so of course this is just fiction my mind made up to begin with.  In my half awake - half asleep state, my first thought on my birthday was, I just started the second half of my life by stepping on a worm.  Oh, aren't we off to a good start.... on both my birthday AND on the second half of my life (please note sarcasm if it is not apparent in the text!)  So here I am at 46 yrs old, determining, today, what my life will be in another 45 years AND that it is all down hill from here!
   

I am sure it is obvious to all of you just how ridicules I am being - but it is a good way to illustrate how we do things like this EVERY day and maybe you will see how you do this in your own life too.

Ok, so let's slow this whole process waaaaay dooooown!

What is going on? What is the feeling?

I am feeling down/sad/detected that the entire rest of my life is basically going to be bad! 

Behind every feeling is a thought that came first

It helps to remember that thoughts are inside OUR head, so we have complete control over it.  Sometimes it does not FEEL like we do because our thoughts are so closely connected with our feelings.  It seems like they happen at the same time... but..... (and here is the good news!!!!)  The thought ALWAYS comes first.  The feeling can become a signal to SLOW DOWN and back up a little bit....take a look at the thought that created it.

What was the thought? 

Something along the lines of today is the first day of the rest of my life and since I stepped on a worm, this obviously signifies something very bad about the rest of my life.


Un-Velcro

Next - I have come to like the term "un-Velcro" to explain the way this process feels for me.  It is like pulling apart the feeling and the thought in one's mind the way one would pull Velcro apart

TAKE A BREATH! 
Put some space between the thought and the feeling.

Take 2 breaths... or 10 breaths if need be.... until you realize that it is 2 separate parts.

So, let's look at the thought - the part that started it all. 

Ask yourself questions like the following:  

(For further reading, it is similar to a process used by Byron Katie Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life.)   

Is it true?  Is the thought accurate or is it just a story you are making up?

Actually in this case, we can just stop right here, because the obvious answer is NO, it is not true!

It is true that I stepped on a worm.  It is true that it is my 46th birthday.  Those are the factual parts. (For further reading about "Just the Facts", click here)  It is not true that the worm holds any particular, specific meaning. 

Let's say we answer the first question, "Yes, it is true."  Even if it is accurate, there may be another way to look at it.  Are you seeing the whole elephant?  (For further reading on this subject, click here. )


What else could it mean?

In my case, what if I decided that the worm could signify good luck?  Or does the worm not mean anything at all other than that I have to clean up worm guts from my carpet?  You get the idea!  Usually there is some other way to look at a situation. 

Finally, even if you cannot find another way to look at it, ask:

Is it serving (helping) you to think this thought? 

If the answer is no, then my suggestion is to make the choice to let it go the best you can.  I do know this is not always easy....  If you can't let it go, at least repeat to yourself, "This thought does not serve me, but I am making a choice not to let it go right now."  At least that will help to see it as a choice.

So - now that I've had time to think about that poor little worm that some how ended up in the wrong place this morning....  my choice is to thank the worm for one of the best birthday gifts I ever got..... 

The gift of seeing that things happen, they will continue to happen.... beyond that I can choose how I wish view them or choose to assign them no meaning at all. 

....and I choose to see that as a very excellent start to the second half of my life! 


As always, I would love to hear your feedback or questions. You may submit them by clicking on the "comments" link at the end of the post.


To read last month's post, Are you Breathing?  ..... click here.

Until next month...
Keep it simple!
Penelope

Celebrate Your Life/Chicago

Are you Breathing?

Quote of the month:

Enlightenment is always there.

Small enlightenment will bring great enlightenment.

If you breathe in and are aware that you are alive—

that you can touch the miracle of being alive—

then that is a kind of enlightenment.

-Thich Nhat Hanh

Photo courtesy of LanningsLandscapes.com

Are you breathing?

I can hear a chorus of all of you saying, "Yes, of course I am breathing!"

So how do you know you are breathing?

Now you add, "I have to be breathing or I wouldn't be alive."

When I asked that question, you most likely went to your mind for the answer. That is typically what we do.... when faced with a question, let the mind figure it out.

Let's take just a few minutes and "think" about this a little differently. Even better, I'd like to suggest that we not "think" about it at all, but answer the question from direct experience.

Take a minute and breath with me.....

You may want to focus on the serene photograph above, taken by friend of mine, as you breath in and count slowly to yourself 1...... 2...... 3....... feel your lungs fill with air and your belly and chest rise. Hold it just for a moment and then exhale in a comfortable manner. Feel your shoulders fall. Pause just a moment again at the end of the exhale before inhaling again. Repeat a few times. You may count, not count, inhale or exhale through your nose or mouth. It is not important for this exercise, just keep it comfortable, a little slowed from your normal pace and put your attention fully on your body and on the actual breathing.

Notice how pleasing it actually feels to breathe..... can you "touch the miracle" of being alive as Thich Nhat Hanh says in the quote says above? Do you have gratitude at being able to breathe? Some people cannot breathe freely due to asthma or other illness. I will add breathing to my gratitude list from last Thanksgiving!

Now.... let me ask the question again... Are you breathing? Now, how do you know?

As always, I would love to hear your feedback or questions. You may submit them by clicking on the "comments" link at the end of the post.

To look at more beautiful photographs at LanningsLandscapes.com..... click here.

To add "breathing" (or anything else) to our Community Gratitude List..... click here.

To do a mini-meditation.... click here.

To read last month's post on Me-Me-Me..... click here.

Until next month,

Keep it Simple!
Penelope

Me - Me - Me

Quote of the Month:

Get me out of here!

-unhappy little boy in a bounce house

I have a confession to make this month. My ego/voice has been going WILD and CRAZY for the last few weeks. It has been all about me-me-me!

I've been complaining that there is:

too much noise,

not enough time,

that girl put her mat way too close to mine in Yoga, doesn't she know that this is "MY space?"

There is too much laundry,

not enough "me" time,

too many problems to solve.

I even found myself JUDGING ..... can you believe it? After just last month I wrote about what a waste of time it was to judge. Good to know I am human!

So, why am I sharing this with you?

There are two reasons.

1 - First of all, so you know that this is "normal" if it also goes on in your mind once in a while.... or even a little more often than that!

2 - I found out something that was significant (for me) and I wanted to share with you.

After I noticed how crazy my ego/voice was going..... I made a decision to stop fighting against it. I simply went to the observer mode and sat with it.... and sat with it..... and sat with it..... Allowing, watching, observing, and even loving the it. For those of you not familiar with my terminology, there is a post on both the voice and the observer. These are not really separate parts of ourselves, more like aspects of us, but it can be helpful to speak about them in this way.

But back to me-me-me...... : )

The situation was almost the way a parent must allow a toddler's temper tantrum to run its course, once it is in full bloom. The more I,

observed,

allowed,

and loved it,

an incredible thing happened..... the more distance I could get from it.

This is often where problems come in - when we become too close to or too entangled in our ego/voice. We BECOME the ego and act AS the ego rather than the more objective observer.

Three parts:

1 - Observe - as in to watch, view, or regard with attention. This is much the same way a parent might observe the toddler once the tantrum has begun to ensure they do not injure themselves. 

2 - Allow - as in "allowing" it to unfold naturally and not control it. To permit something to happen or to exist. Allow and permit are often interchangeable, but allow implies complete absence of an attempt to hinder. Let me clarify here that this was a completely internal process and I am not saying that it is not OK to act out against someone in this manner.

3 - and Love - create an energy and space of love for the "tantrum" to happen. This is not an attached human love but more a reverent affection of the Universe that asks nothing in return.

Over time, the ego lost energy and momentum. When it was "allowed" to run its course, it simply relaxed.
Yes, there is a lot of noise.

Yes, there is a lot of laundry.

Yes, there is not much "me" time.

Yes, yes, yes!

You are right ego!

Anything else? (As when I tell my kids, "Get it ALL out!")

Then -

SILENCE,

Peace,

Stillness....

It lasted for about 2 minutes.

Then started up again! So repeat as necessary!

The good news is that each successive time became shorter in duration, less intense, and less dramatic!

As always, I would love to hear your feedback or questions. You may submit them by clicking on the on the "comments" link at the end of the post.

To read posts on related material

Judgments..... click here.

Ego/Voice...... click here.

The Observer..... click here.

Until next month,

Here's hoping you keep it simple!

Penelope

Judgments, Tiger Woods.... and you!

Let it run like water off

a duck's back.....

- Kathryn D.

My grandmother may not be the first person to say this line, but she is the one who taught it to me. It fits with this month's theme of judgment.

Tiger Woods is the latest in a long line of public figures such as John Edwards, David Letterman and Bill Clinton to fall from Grace because of their actions. A few months ago, we were judging Tiger's actions, now we, the media and just about everyone in the world is judging "the apology." Was it sincere? Was it enough? Did it strike the right tone? I find this to be a total waste of time... I'll share with you why I feel that way.

In each "judgment" there are two sides. There is the person being judged and the one doing the judging. In this post, I want to suggest that while neither may be a good place to be, the far more detrimental position is to be in the position of judging. Let me be clear here, that the harm I am referring to is the harm it causes to the one doing the judging, not the one being judged.

When someone judges you, it says SOMETHING about them and it says NOTHING about you. I know that this is something people say... but it really is true.

To illustrate this point, let's view this from the position of the person being judged. Think for a minute of a situation where you felt judged. We have all been there, probably repeatedly. Maybe your situation was not as public as Tiger Woods. Maybe you were judged for the clothes you wore to a particular event, the way you handled a situation, not doing "enough" for the PTA or a church event, or the words you used when speaking to someone. These are common, every day judgments that many of us make and many of us are the recipient of. Can you think of a time when you felt judged?

Now the next thing I want you to imagine, seems at first nearly unthinkable..... but there is great freedom if one can do it.

What if you just decided that it was OK for people to judge you and so said to the world, "Go ahead.... judge away!" For example.... I will allow people to judge me for wearing the wrong shoes to an event (as I do this regularly!) : )

Try to stop for a minute and imagine this situation....... What happens?

Has anything REALLY happened to you? Have you been diminished in any way? What is a judgment? It is a thought in someone else's head..... how can a thought in someone else's head REALLY effect you? Even if they verbalize the thought to another person.... and it becomes a thought in a second person's head...... what has happened to you?

NOTHING!!!!!

Think about it for a minute............ it is very freeing.

So now.... in my example Sue told Carol that my shoes were inappropriate for the situation. How does that effect me? What happens to me?

NOTHING!!!!!

I can hear some of you saying, "But it feels bad when someone judges you!" I want to suggest that the only way it can feel bad is if you jump on the bandwagon and agree with them. You then become the judger of yourself..... but be clear it is doing the actual judging that feels bad and not because you have been judged.

Follow? If you do not agree with them, you simply go on with your day!

It is the energy of judging that feels bad itself. We have not been taught this. Most of us feel like we need to accept someone else opinion. It is not really even conscious. We just do it.... if they think that about me, it must be true. This is not the case. We do not have to accept anyone else's opinion of ourselves.

Try telling the flower that you do not like its shade of yellow. Does the flower care? If someone says that they like the color blue and don't like the color red, all we know is their opinion. It does not carry any further meaning like "blue is good" or "red is bad." Do you think that "red" really cares what they think? We can be just like "red" in this example and let it "roll, like water off a duck's back," as my grandmother said.

See if you can follow this a step further.... when someone judges, THEY are the ones who have to live in the energy of judgement. This is where it says something about them and NOTHING about you. This is where the "damage" is done. This is where the negative feelings come from. This could be a whole other post, but think about a time when you judged someone else. How did you REALLY feel afterwards? Did it really make you feel good? Maybe for a moment as you felt "better" than them for a second or two, but that is trading a fleeting good feeling for a long term negative feeling.

If you want to try to take it one spiritual step further..... if one wants to feel something about having been judged, one can feel sympathy for the person doing the judging as they are trapped in that negative energy, not you. This may be a bit challenging if this concept is new to you. If this is the case, do not concern yourself with this step just yet.

I feel the need to clarify here that I am in no way giving anyone permission for bad, or even unkind behavior with this post. Additionally, unless someone has a mental or emotional illness (and we are not addressing that in this post) one KNOWS when they have done something "wrong." One does not need to be told by others that it was wrong I would suggest that when someone does exhibit "bad" behavior, it is a statement about how they are feeling about themselves.... but that is another post for another day!

You may leave your feedback, questions, or suggested topics for the future by clicking the "comments" link at the end of the post.

You can read last month's post on Intuition and Your own Guru by clicking here.

Until next month,

Here's hoping you keep it simple,

Penelope

Tolle on Intuition

Here is the additional information I had promised on intuition.... I love the way Eckhart Tolle describes intuition in the interview below.

Eckhart Tolle on Intuition

You could say that intuition is a kind of knowing, but you don’t know how you got there. You know something, but you don’t know by what path you’ve arrived at what you know. It’s a sudden arising of knowledge or knowing something, but one might say, “I don’t know how I know this”. What is at work here is non-conceptual intelligence, when intuition arises.

Intuition is not arrived at by thinking, not by logic. It’s arrived at in a way that we cannot explain. It is closely related to creativity and inspiration. Inspiration also comes from that place. It is given to you. It is given to all great artists, musicians, writers, and even great scientists who made deep discoveries that were revolutionary – like Einstein. Einstein had a ‘sense’ of his theory of relativity. Before he could fully prove it, he already knew it was true. It was intuition that came to him. Of course, he had done a lot of thinking before that happened.

Sometimes you have to do a lot of thinking, and then suddenly, thinking doesn’t get you anywhere anymore, and you stop thinking, and you go out and take a few deep breaths. Or you go out into nature and sit under a tree. And suddenly, intuition is there. Something you couldn’t have arrived at through thinking.

It’s vital for every human being to contact that place within, where intuition arises, because otherwise you are confined to the limitations of your conceptual mind.

Otherwise, your life is just repetitive, and no new ideas can come. If it’s a fresh and new idea, it comes from a place where all creativity arises - which ultimately, is the stillness within. That’s where intuition arises. If you can be still even for a moment, then there’s a possibility that some intuitive thing arises as a thought or as a spontaneous thing that you say, and you’ve surprised yourself. Maybe somebody needs your help or advice, and rather than thinking “I should be helping that person. What can I say next to help them?”, rather than that you just become still, listen, look. And suddenly you may find yourself saying something. It’s intuitive. Suddenly a deeper intelligence comes and uses your mind.

That’s what we call intuition. Realize that this is at the basis of all creative activities, all truly creative activities. Perception is something that comes from the outside, and intuition comes from the inner. It comes from you. It is essentially one with who you are, intelligence itself.

The easiest way to develop intuition is to develop the ability to be still. Rather than “trying” to develop intuition, go to the place where all intuition arises. You don’t need to worry about becoming more intuitive if you focus more on being still. Not necessarily for long periods of time, but have moments of stillness in your life, so that every day is interspersed with moments of stillness.

You could just close your eyes and take one or two deep breaths. Or you don’t even have to close your eyes, but while you’re listening or looking at somebody, feel yourself breathing. Feel the inner aliveness within your body.

If you are looking at your computer screen, look away for a moment, or close your eyes for a moment, and take one or two conscious breaths. It brings you to stillness.

Wherever you are, there are always opportunities for a moment of stillness. And that is vital, because otherwise your life is unbalanced. If you don’t find stillness, all you have is activity - one thing after another. And this covers up your potential intuitive faculty, continuously. Seek out moments of stillness. Even the busiest person can do it. If you’re driving home, or driving to work, every traffic light is an invitation to stillness. There are so many opportunities for stillness.

Stillness is where intuition arises.


For further reading, I recommend Eckhart Tolle's books The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment or A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose (Oprah's Book Club, Selection 61)