Change is in the Air

Quote of the month:

You are today
where your thoughts have brought you;
you will be tomorrow
where your thoughts take you.
- James Allen

**Please note: this post is out of order. 🤷‍♀️

It it originally from fall of 2008.

Change is in the air….
Change is certainly in the air here in Minnesota. It was 74* one day…then just a few days later, the wind chills were at zero and the flurries were flying! Much of the country either is or already has experienced fall. The changing leaves are a good analogy for emotional changes in our lives..... Looking at what does and does not work for us…and allowing those things that are not serving us to change or to fall away….just as the leaves do.

For the last couple of months we have been talking about becoming aware and identifying those areas of your life that are causing you stress and that you wish to experience differently. Some changes are simple….you acquire new information, integrate it into your understanding…and move on. For example, before a child learns addition, they may say 2+2=22 or 2+2=fish for that matter (my boys went through a time when they thought this was hysterical!) At some point a teacher shows the child 2 pieces of candy, adds 2 more to them. The child counts them and learns that 2+2=4!

Sometimes the changes come simply like the child learning mathematics. It is like you are hearing things you always knew, but had forgotten for a while. When you hear them, they resonate as truth. That information is easy to integrate and implement. The child has little or no fear, identification or emotional attachment to 2+2=22, so it is relatively simple to integrate that information. Change is more challenging when you do have some sort of fear, identification or attachment to what it is that you are trying to change. We discussed identification in more detail in November‘s post. As always, on this blog, my intention will be to keep my suggestions “simple,” understandable and do-able.

It is important to understand that the only person you can really effect lasting change on, is yourself. You might be able to change a situation, or may be able convince someone that they need to change for a while….but in the end, the only person you have any real control over is yourself. That really is the good news as it opens up a world of possibilities to you about how you experience your life!

You know I like to keep it “simple,” so for an example, I am going to use concerns over writing a blog. The same process can be applied to just about any situation that is causing you stress, such as beginning any other new endeavor, changing jobs, dealing with a difficult co-worker or family member, managing your finances, or preparing for the holidays.

The first thing I would suggest is to pause your mental “I-pod/tape” and see what is going on in your head about the situation. What are you telling yourself about the new endeavor? Sometimes these types of things are more difficult to hear. They happen so rapidly and so automatically that it is challenging to slow down to a point that it is discernible. [This is another example of how meditation and awareness can help.]

I use a method that I call
The Why? Process….

• Start asking yourself why? In the example: Why am I hesitant to start a blog? Are you saying things like, “I can’t learn something new,” or “I’m not up to date on technology," or "I am not a good writer.”

• It is useful to be as specific as possible. Ask why? a number of times. It helps to clarify what is really going on. If you say you don't like new things….ask why again? Try to clarify further. Is it because it is unknown? Or is it because it is tiring to learn something new? Or some other reason. The question is….. why is it that way FOR YOU vs. why it might be that way for me. Nearly everyone would agree that new things may be scary and may create stress in your life, but the reasons why it would be considered stressful, would be as numerous as there are people! Continuing the example of the blog, some may think they are not up to date on technology, others may think they don’t have anything to say, or that they are not good with grammar. Other reasons might be that no one will read it, no one cares what they think or that they are not smart enough.

• Continue until you seem to be saying the same answer to each why? Let’s say you get to a point where you say, you are afraid you won’t be successful at the new endeavor and that seems to be a recurring answer.

• The next step is to make a list of all the times your life that you have been successful. (After your why process, you may have a different word (fear) such as smart or won't be liked, or something similar. I use successful as it is a common theme and one that can be adapted to a variety of situations.) I like a written list so you can go back to it. List as many as possible. Have you completed high school or college? Have you moved? Changed jobs? Had sports accomplishments? Other accomplishments or awards at work, school or maybe in a club or an organization? Other personal achievements?… brag on yourself until you can’t think of anything more. No one is listening but you! Everyone has at least a few things that can put on this list. Graduating high school, raising a child, taking a new job, dealing with a challenging situation like an illness or death of a loved one, or other loss such as a divorce, going through a hurricane or other natural disaster, learning something new, such as karate, a new language or playing the trombone. I suspect that once you get started, you may be surprised at how many successful accomplishments you will have on your list.

• Is there one on the list that is similar to the new challenge you are facing now? Is there one that you found particularly challenging...but had success at it anyway? Is there one thing that you feel particular proud of? Is there one that beforehand felt impossible or that you were concerned about your ability to handle it....but did it anyway? Put that into your words!

The bottom line....
Try to remember either one thing that stands out or a generalized feeling from the cumulative effect of all the things on your list.....sit with that feeling for a little while and focus your attention on the positive situations where you have been successful.

Then....
Try to put into your own words what that feels like.

Those are your True Colors!

I'll stop here for now......this next part of the process will be the topic for next month’s blog. Here are some lyrics to the song True Colors,

"I see your true colors shining through....
...so don't be afraid,
to let them show,
your true colors are beautiful,
like a rainbow."

If you would like to hear Cyndi sing it to you.... click here for a link….

To continue reading the next post, click here, for True Colors.

I would love to hear your feedback as well as any questions you may have or topics you may be interested in for the future. You may comment at the bottom of the blog in the "comments" section. All posts will be archived on my blog along with other useful information at:
Simply Spirituality or
http://simplyspirituality.blogspot.com/

Until next month....
Here's hoping you keep your spirituality simple!
Penelope

Picture of the month:

I can do it! Florida, July 2003

True Colors

Fall True Colors, Minnesota, October 2010

Quote of the month:

I see your true colors... shining through……

so don't be afraid, to let them show,

your true colors... are beautiful,

like a rainbow.

-Cyndi Lauper

This was originally posted in January of 2009, but I have referred to it several time recently, so it seems appropriate to revisit it again this month.   

The True Colors of fall are shining through in the photo above!  This month, we will talk about allowing your own true colors to shine through as well. In  December of 2008, we talked about making a list of characteristics, successes or accomplishments, then sitting with that for a while to get a feeling around it, then trying to put that feeling into your own words.  I call this your True Colors Phrase.  You may have several true colors phrases, one for each particular area of your life that you wish to experience differently.  To keep it simple, I suggest working on one at a time.  It is also generally easier to begin with an area of your life that is not your biggest challenge.  

Here are some more suggestions for coming up with a true colors phrase.

It must be TRUE! You may say that a true colors phrase sounds similar to coming up with a mantra or affirmation. Mantras are fine too, if they work for you, but there are several ways that this is different from a mantra. Often, a mantra is not a true statement, but rather the way you want something to be. Repeating over and over that the sky is green will not make it so. In our example from December 2008, about a new endeavor, the subconscious is still there telling you what it really thinks. You are trying to say, I can do it....whatever "it" is ....and the mind or subconscious is there in the background calling you a liar! You will hear underneath your voice, your subconscious saying, "No you can't!!!" This is what you will really hear and really feel on an emotional level. Last month the suggestion was to make a list of REAL positive situations where you have been successful. It is real information that the subconscious cannot argue with.

The true colors phrase should be short and concise. Try to boil it down to a few words. Something that you can easily remember and repeat when you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts.

Another difference is that a true colors phrase is designed to bring up a specific feeling. It will bring up the FEELING of the successes or accomplishments over again and the subconscious will be better able to believe it. It is important to note here, that you may not get to the feeling part immediately. Feelings actually start as a thought in your head. We don't realize this, as it becomes automatic, but if you can slow the process down you see that the thought comes first, which then creates the feeling.

Some of you have told me either that the true colors phase does not bring up a good feeling or that your mind is still in there telling you that you are a "liar" even on the real accomplishments. This is where the use of your will comes in. Facts are facts. The mind cannot argue with facts. If this is the case, start with reminding yourself each time the mind wants to tell you that it is not enough or still not good enough... or whatever your version of this is.  (You can also re-read September's post on Your Thoughts Create Your Reality, or "just the facts" on not making judgments about each and every thought that comes through your mind.)

Then, allow yourself to own your accomplishments. It may take some time and repetition, but over time, you will re-train your mind. You can think of it almost like reprogramming a computer....except that we are not machines and require multiple efforts to "reprogram."

Gary Zukav says the longest distance you will ever travel is from your head to your heart! Getting a thought from your head to a feeling in your heart may take time. Your "heart" (the feeling) has been listening to that other criticizing part for so long that says it's not enough...so that is what your heart may currently be "believing" (in the form of a feeling also.) Repetition is key for this also!

Probably by this time, if you have been following along every month, it is becoming apparent, that when you become aware of your I-pod/tape chatter saying something negative .....it then becomes a matter of repeatedly replacing the old thought with the new thought...the true colors phrase. To continue the I-pod/tape metaphor….it is like going back and recording a new song on the tape or synching your I-pod with a new play list. In both cases, you are replacing the old information with new. As mentioned above, we are not computers or machines and it generally cannot be accomplished with just one time….but each time you become aware, challenge the thought and replace it with a new one, the new thought becomes stronger, especially when that thought is tied to a positive feeling.

Please understand the personal power this simple technique can give you…. Even if it is something you have believed or been told your whole life. I try to keep these posts light and simple, but there are some very powerful applications for this simple technique. Think of a child that fails a test or class....and the beliefs that child could adopt as a result. Think of a person who is fired from a job and the thoughts and beliefs that could result.... or a child who has experienced abuse or has been picked on or bullied... he or she may develop certain thoughts and beliefs about themselves, or thoughts about why the abuse or bullying occurred. Very often people attribute the cause to something about themselves...a flaw of some sort....or it could lead to a powerless feeling....or any number of different feelings or coping mechanisms. Again, there may be as many different ways of coping as their are people and situations.

The simple suggestion I am making this month is that there may be other ways to look at each of those challenges.  If you find yourself saying, "But that really is a terrible thing that happened to me!" I would remind you that you may have old coping mechanisms that are no longer serving you.  I would also suggest that losing yourself in the "terrible-ness" of it will not help you find a new job, pass the next test or deal with the next bully.  (An author that may help with this process is Byron Katie and her process she calls "The Work.")

Drawing on your accomplishments, successes and achievements by using your true colors phrase may help change a long term belief system into a new way of looking at life. It may change the way you experience a challenging situation and may help you relieve some of the stress in your life.

The true colors phrase is (real, true) information in the form of a thought in your head that works its way into a feeling in your heart. Once it reaches the feeling stage, it is more likely to become your new way of viewing that particular circumstance. I personally know that this process can work and can change the way you experience your life.  It can allow your own beautiful true colors to shine through, as Fall's true colors are in the photo above.

Before you go, if you would like to hear Cindi sing the song... and those words.... to you, then scroll down to the next post and watch the video!

As always, I would love to hear your comments, questions or challenges in the comments section below.  

Until next month,
Keep it simple!
Penelope

True Colors Video

True Colors

Quote of the month:

I see your true colors shining through…
…so don't be afraid, to let them show,

your true colors are beautiful,like a rainbow.

-Cyndi Lauper

Your true colors...are beautiful like a rainbow! Last month, we talked about making a list of characteristics, successes or accomplishments, sitting with that for a while and then trying to put that feeling into your own words. I call this your true colors phrase. You may have several true colors phrases, one for each particular area of your life that you wish to experience differently. To keep it simple, I suggest working with one at a time. It is also generally easier to begin with an area of your life that is not your biggest challenge.

Here are some more suggestions for coming up with a true colors phrase.

It must be TRUE!

You may say that this sounds similar to coming up with a mantra or affirmation. Mantras are fine too, if they work for you, but there are several ways that this is different from a mantra. Often, a mantra is not a true statement, but rather the way you want something to be. Repeating over and over that the sky is green will not make it so. In our example from last month about a new endeavor, the subconscious is still there telling you what it really thinks. You are trying to say, I can write a blog....and it is there in the background calling you a liar! You will hear underneath your voice, your subconscious saying, "No you can't!!!" This is what you will really hear on an emotional level. Last month the suggestion was to make a list of REAL positive situations where you have been successful. It is real information that the subconscious cannot argue with.

The true colors phrase should be short and concise. Try to boil it down to a few words. Something that you can easily remember and repeat when you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts.

Another difference is that a true colors phrase is designed to bring up a specific feeling. It will bring up the FEELING of the successes or accomplishments over again and the subconscious will be better able to believe it. It is important to note here, that you may not get to the feeling part immediately. Feelings actually start as a thought in your head. We don't realize this, as the process becomes so automatic, but if you can slow it down (meditation helps!) you see that the thought comes first, which then creates the feeling.

Some of you have told me either that the true colors phase does not bring up a good feeling or that your mind is still in there telling you that you are a "liar" even on the real accomplishments. This is where the use of your will comes in. Facts are facts. The mind cannot argue with facts. If this is the case, start with reminding yourself each time the mind wants to tell you that it is not enough or still not good enough. (You can also re-read September's post on Your Thoughts Create Your Reality, or "just the facts" on not making judgements about each and every thought that comes through your mind.) Then, allow yourself to own your accomplishments. It may take some time and repetition, but over time, you will re-train your mind. You can think of it almost like reprogramming a computer....except that we are not machines and require multiple efforts to "reprogram."

Gary Zukav says the longest distance you will ever travel is from your head to your heart! Getting a thought from your head to a feeling in your heart may take time. Your "heart" (the feeling) has been listening to that other criticizing part for so long that says it's not enough...so that is what your heart may currently be "believing" (in the form of a feeling also.) Repetition is key for this also!

Probably by this time, if you have been following along every month, it is becoming apparent, that when you become aware of your I-pod/tape chatter saying something negative .....it then becomes a matter of repeatedly replacing the old thought with the new thought...the true colors phrase. To continue the I-pod/tape metaphor….it is like going back and recording a new song on the tape or synching your I-pod with a new play list. In both cases, you are replacing the old information with new. As mentioned above, we are not computers or machines and it generally cannot be accomplished with just one time….but each time you become aware, challenge the thought and replace it with a new one, the new thought becomes stronger.

Please understand the personal power this simple technique can give you…. Even if it is something you have believed or been told your whole life. I try to keep these posts light and simple, but there are some very powerful applications for this simple technique. Think of a child that fails a test or class....and the beliefs that child could adopt as a result. Think of a person who is fired from a job and the thoughts and beliefs that could result.... or a child who has experienced abuse or has been picked on or bullied... he or she may develop certain thoughts and beliefs about themselves, or thoughts about why the abuse or bullying occurred. Very often people attribute the cause to something about themselves...a flaw of some sort....or it could lead to a powerless feeling....or any number of different feelings or coping mechanisms. Again, there may be as many different ways of coping as their are people and situations.

Any one of those thoughts may be enough to make some one want to give up. I am simply suggesting that there may be other ways to look at each of those challenges….especially if they are creating negative feelings for you or consequences you are not happy with. If you find yourself saying, "But that really is a terrible thing that happened to me!" I would suggest to go back to the why process. You may have old coping mechanisms that are no longer serving you. I would also suggest that losing yourself in the "terrible-ness" of it will not help you find a new job, pass the next test or deal with the next bully. But drawing on your accomplishments, successes and achievements by using your true colors phrase may! It may help you change a long term belief system into a new way of looking at life. It may change the way you experience a challenging situation and may help you relieve some of the stress in your life.

The true colors phrase is (real, true) information in the form of a thought in your head that works its way into a feeling in your heart. Once it reaches the feeling stage, it is more likely to become your new way of viewing that particular circumstance. I personally know that this process can work and can change the way you experience your life.

The picture of the month this month is not mine. When I started writing this particular topic a few months ago, I was looking for a picture of a rainbow to represent "true colors" and "beautiful like a rainbow." I do not have my own picture of a rainbow, so I searched on line for one. Nothing stood out. At the same time, I went to read my niece's blog, The Mommy Writer. (This is also listed on the right side of my blog page under "My Blogs List.") THAT DAY, when I was looking for a picture of a rainbow, she had, ironically, just posted a picture of a rainbow on her blog....so it seemed appropriate to use that picture. Here is the link to that picture and it is posted below as well.

To continue reading next month's post on What is Spirituality? click here.

I would love to hear your feedback as well as any questions you may have or topics you may be interested in for the future. You may comment at the bottom at the blog where it says "comments."

All posts will be archived on my blog along with other useful information at: Simply Spirituality or http://simplyspirituality.blogspot.com/

Until next month....
Here's hoping you keep your spirituality simple!

Penelope

Picture of the month:

Beautiful like a Rainbow