Taking Stock/Mindfulness

Quote of the Month:
Your entire life journey ultimately consists
of the step you are taking at this moment.
There is always only this one step,
and so you give it your fullest attention.
-Eckhart Tolle

It is hard for me to believe this post is the 12th month of the blog! When I began, I thought there would be 6 or 7 and now, almost a year later, I feel as though I've scarcely scratched the surface. As you read this month's post, think about where you were a year ago, what has changed since then and where you might like to go in the next year. Are there things you have changed in the past year..... or are there things you have wanted to do or change that you have not done in the last year? The earth will continue around the sun for another 365 days either way.... to paraphrase a friend of mine! It is up to you what you do with those days in between now and then to make the changes you want to see in your life.

I thought it might be appropriate for me to end this year coming full circle to where we began. The first post was on meditation, but I want to put a little twist on it now and introduce mindfulness.

Mindfulness simply means that we are paying attention. Paying attention to what we are doing, what we are feeling and everything that happens around us in the present moment. Often we go through life on autopilot. We act or react unconsciously or out of habit. This does not allow us to choose our response to a given situation. With practice we can begin to take more control and switch off the autopilot, learning to be fully aware of our sensations, thoughts, emotions and responses.

Do not set a goal to be mindful ALL the time, just to be there as often as you remember to. NO ONE [except possibly those who live in the mountains at a monastery] is mindful ALL of the time. Most of us are doing well, if we remember to be mindful for a few seconds, 2 or 3 times a day! Sometimes, I go whole days without remembering... so the idea here is to challenge yourself to do it as often as possible while at the same time being gentle with yourself!

One can think of mindfulness in the example of a tightrope walker. When walking on a high wire, one's attention can be no where else. The walker's full attention is on the step they are taking at that moment, the placement of the foot and where the weight is placed in the foot. I had a similar experience last winter walking down steep snow covered steps. It was of utmost importance to be aware of each step and where I placed my foot, so that I would not fall. Walking these steps daily for a number of weeks last winter helped raise my own mindfulness which has carried over into every day life.

There are a number of simple ways one can practice mindfulness in dialy life. A recent posting on Oprah's web site listed a number of suggestions for increasing mindfulness. A few of those are listed below....

Breath - When you wake up in the morning before getting out of bed, notice your breathing. Take a few deep, comfortable breaths.

Motions - Be aware of how your body feels as you move from lying down to sitting up, standing and walking.

Eating - Pay attention as you eat. Chew slowly and completely, and notice the textures and flavors of your food.

Listen - When talking to another person, take a moment just to listen, appreciating the person's experience of the world, though it may be different from your own. Try not to begin formulating your own repsonse until they have finished speaking.

Walking - Practice mindful walking, consciously placing your attention on each foot as it connects with and leaves the ground. (As I did on the snowy steps!)

Standing - When standing in line or waiting, use the time to feel your feet on the ground and notice how you are holding yourself.

I'll add - Completing Chores - doing repetitive chores with awareness rather than rushing through them to get finished. I have a friend who loves to wash dishes and another that folds laundry more peacefully than anyone I've every seen!

Once, while cleaning green beans [with my laundry folding friend] we seemed especially in the moment and enjoyed the actual process of cleaning the green beans together. This reminds me of how families came together in the past and prepared food together. This is something our fast-paced society misses out on in the drive through world of today. My suggestion this month is to do as Eckhart Tolle suggests in the quote above and give your full attention to the step you are taking at this moment, no matter what that step is.

I would love to hear your feedback as well as any questions you may have or topics you may be interested in for the future. You may comment at the bottom at the blog where it says "comments."Simply Spirituality or http://simplyspirituality.blogspot.com/

To continue reading next month's post on The Voice.... click here.

Until next month....
Keep it simple!
Penelope

Photo of the month:

This one step.... Florida, May 2001

Wilderness of Intuition

Quote of the month:
You have to leave the city of your comfort
and go into the wilderness of your intuition.
What you'll discover will be wonderful.
What you'll discover is yourself.
-Alan Alda

In the quote above, Alan Alda is using the city as an analogy for our comfort zone. Most of us start in the city .... the city in this picture is Miami, in October of 1999, though it looks a little bit different today, with many more tall buildings. In the analogy, the city is safe and comfortable. We know the city. We know where the roads lead and we know where to go shopping for groceries, clothing, sofas or whatever we may need. Alan Alda is posing the challenge to us, at least metaphorically, to leave that comfort zone and enter into the wilderness! An area that we do not know and that may not feel as comfortable. The wonderful reward, he says, will be yourself! That sounds like it just might be a journey worth taking.... so go get your hiking boots, grab your walking sticks and meet me at the edge of the forest!

Have you ever had a feeling in the pit of your stomach? It was telling you not to do something... and maybe you did it anyway? Or maybe you didn't do it. Intuition can come in different ways for different people. Sometimes it comes as a feeling or sensation and sometimes you may hear a voice in your head. Now before you think I might be a little bit nuts talking about voices in your head, I want to clarify that intuition is always peaceful and not fearful. It will not guide one to do anything dangerous or unloving, though it may challenge you to do something you do not really feel like doing... and often it might not always make sense at the moment. Often in hind sight, the broader picture comes together.

The voice of intuition can be difficult to distinguish at first from the other voices that may be mixed in there... like the voice of society, telling you what is "right" or "wrong" for example; or the media, telling you what you should wear or what type of shampoo you should use. You may hear the voice of parent that might still ring in our ears, telling you that "our family does not associate with 'those types' of people" or "....eat meat on Friday!" (Oh, wait, that's religion... that is another voice in there too!) The voice of your culture is also in there.... it tells you how you are alike and different from....or better than or not as good as other cultures, heritages or nationalities. You may even hear the voice of a spouse who expects that dinner will be made in a certain way, the house cleaned in a particular way or that you will earn a certain amount of money..... and of course the voice of the ego or personality is mixed in there, telling you that "they" are not going to approve of how you handled a particular situation, that you are not good enough, not attractive enough, or just plain not enough.....

The voice of "fear" often is difficult to distinguish from intuition but I'll restate here that in my experience, intuition is not fearful. It is calm, yet energizing and peaceful and does not create anxiety. I am not labeling any of these voices as "bad." In fact, we have to make so many decisions every day that in some ways these are helpful. The voice of fear may keep you from doing something dangerous. The societal voice might keep us from doing things that would hurt others, and the media helps to inform us of what products may be available to meet our needs, but adding intuition to the mix helps us to make better choices when faced with those decisions.

So a first step on the journey into the wilderness is to learn to distinguish those voices from one another. [This could be a whole blog post in itself, so consider this an introduction.] To do so, try asking yourself where a particular belief came from? Where did you hear that said before? In the news? At church? Why do you use a particular brand of laundry detergent? Your mother did? The media said it was "best"? Why are you registered Republican? Your parents are? Why do you keep a towel over the toaster? (Oh wait, that's me! And because my family has always done it that way!) With a little bit of practice, it will begin to become more clear to you... and..... meditation helps! ; )

Here are some suggestions to get started with intuition.... try to think of it as "playing" or having fun and don't take any of it too seriously!

• To experiment with intuition, try "playing" with things that don't really matter. In the store, ask, should I buy apples or oranges? Should I buy this apple or that apple? See how each "feels." Try buying the one that feels right.
• I often play with intuition with my boys... guessing which elevator will open first or who might be on the phone (no checking caller ID!)
• Ask your intuition things like what you should eat, where you should walk, or what exercise your body needs. See what feels right.
• When driving, if there are 2 ways to go that will get you where you are going.... ask should I go left or right? Take the long way or the short way? Sometimes the answer may be that it doesn't matter, but if you set your intention to pay attention to your intuition, I believe you will get more information than you think you will.

Also try to notice if following intuition led to something unexpected. Something that you could not have otherwise have known. Say for example, intuition says to take the long way home, and although it doesn't seem to otherwise make sense, you later find out there was a traffic jam or accident on the shorter route. [See below for some of my own examples.]

Maybe some of you do this already in way you do not realize. Often people use intuition at work and don't realize it. Maybe you seem to have a 6th sense for how to handle a particular situation at your work, when to sell a stock, how to take a photograph, how to teach a particular subject, say something the way someone needs to hear it, when to buy a property, how to make a product or where to set a price. I have a friend who is a veterinarian and has been able to diagnose my cat over the phone...without even seeing him, on more than one occasion.

Just to clarify, I am not saying that intuition has to be like holding your hands over the animal and suddenly knowing what is wrong.... I mean it in a much less "out there" kind of way..... Like helping you find the missing piece to the puzzle or helping you put all the pieces together in a way that makes sense. Intuition can be in service to the intellect and the brain. Some might say intuition is the voice of God, some might say it is our higher self, or an energy that comes from inside of us like a "gut" feeling or your conscious.

Albert Einstein is quoted as describing it this way..... "The intellect has little to do on the road to discovery. There comes a leap in consciousness, call it intuition or what you will, and the solution comes to you."

I, honestly, do not know where it comes from, but I do know that when I can hear it and I listen to it, it always steers me in the right direction. That being said, I don't often share these types of things publicly, but maybe it will help to hear a few of my own personal experiences with intuition.

• Once I was driving down I-95 in the city of Miami. I was behind a pick up truck when I specifically heard my intuition tell me, "Get out from behind the truck." I had no idea why and it did not seem to make sense, but I did decide to follow it and change lanes. Not more than a few seconds later, a large box came falling off the back of the truck and into the road behind it, right where I had been.
• Often the things I "hear" are much less important, but end up saving me time or effort in the long run. Maybe to buy 2 of something when I think that I only need one or to bring something along in the car that I don't logically think I would need only to later realize why that was a good idea. (This is a small example, but it ended up saving us a lot of time and money. Once I was headed out the door and I heard intuition say to bring my son's reading list along. I didn't know why, but later I ended up at a store we don't often go to and the library was right beside it. I ended up finding several of the books he needed in one stop and without having to buy them!)
• Another time, I was nearly asleep in bed. I sat up suddenly and heard, "Go check the garage door." It was late at night, I was tired, almost asleep... it didn't make any sense to me, but I did it anyway. When I got to the garage, the garage door was up. I had no other knowledge of the door being open, I hadn't opened it, but listening kept us safer that night than we would have otherwise been.
• Another example, when my first son was small, I was putting him into his car seat. I got the feeling I needed to check the seat first. There was a large needle in the seat. To this day I have no idea how it got there or where it came from.

Listening in each of these cases, though they may not have made sense at the time, either kept us safe or made life go more smoothly than it otherwise would have.

I want to also share something I heard recently. When Bea Arthur of Golden Girls and Maude passed away recently, co-star, Rue McClanahan was interviewed about her friend. She described Bea as someone who made her go "out on a limb." She followed it up with "Bea was already way out there on the limb." I believe it is the ability to hear, trust and follow one's intuition that enables one to go "out on a limb," to do what others may not and in this case to help one be more successful and true to who one really is. Just as Alan Alda says above, "What you'll discover is yourself!" Bea Arthur did and both she and the public reaped the rewards of her efforts!

An important part of intuition is having that courage to follow through on what it is saying. Often the ego jumps in there and talks you out of it.... telling you are crazy listening to that voice in your head! ; ) Really, most of what I write here on the blog comes from listening, trusting and following through on my own intuition. I simply suggest try stepping into your own wilderness .... and see what happens!

I would love to hear your feedback as well as any questions you may have or topics you may be interested in for the future. You may comment at the bottom at the blog where it says "comments." All posts will be archived on my blog along with other useful information at: Simply Spirituality or http://simplyspirituality.blogspot.com/

To continue reading next month's post on Taking Stock/Mindfulness.... click here.

Until next month....
Here's hoping you keep your spirituality simple!
Penelope

Photo of the month
The Wilderness, Smokey Mtns., NC, December 1995

Feeling Fear: Turn the Lions into House Cats!

Quote of the month:

The only thing we have to fear...

is fear itself.

- Franklin D. Roosevelt

In March, we used the idea of lions and tigers and bears.... [Oh my!] to describe our fears. Now let's talk about what to do with that fear. The truth is, most of us don't like to experience fear. When faced with the possibility of actually feeling fear, most of us have elaborate methods we use in order NOT to feel it!

Why?

As FDR stated in the quote above.... we are afraid of fear. The nebulous fear that we have is that if we allow fear to surface, we will not be able to handle it.

Honestly, this is the most difficult post I've attempted to write so far.... because the truth is, this topic is not that easy to make "simple." Yes, I am suggesting that we expend a lot of energy NOT actually feeling the fears we began uncovering in the Why Process (December 2008) and further looked into in the post on fear (March 2009). Now I am now suggesting that we do try to feel them! So, before you aim your mouse for that "X" on the top corner of the page to close this out, give me a few more lines..... or paragraphs, to explain why this might actually be a good idea.

The primary reason this is a good idea is that by feeling the fear, it is released.... gone! Over! Most of us, myself included, often resist feeling, which actually holds the energy of that feeling inside. Initially, this can make one feel tired, achy, uncomfortable, overwhelmed. Over time, I strongly believe that emotions that are not felt, can lead to more serious illness. This is NOT to say that it's not real or it's all in our heads, but rather what is in our heads can affect what is going on in our bodies. Our heads are connected to our bodies by more than our necks! There is an intricate system linking our brains and our bodies, wherein each thought we have releases various chemicals into our bodies. There are many people who can speak on this subject with much more detail than I can... but even with this simple bit of knowledge, it makes sense that what we think, what we feel AND what we think about what we feel : ) can influence the body physically.

To cut to the chase.... the most simple way is just to do it.... just allow oneself to fully feel it... and then - the feeling is gone.....and you will probably wonder why you waited so long! Most of us do not do that...... myself included!!!!!!! Most of us resist feeling!
You've probably heard the saying, what you resist, persists.... As long as you resist, the feeling is going to stick around and try to makes itself known. So let me give you some techniques.

There was an old Blue's Clues (cartoon) episode on frustration when my son was little.
The advice they gave was to:

1- STOP,
2 - breath and
3 - think.

You know how I like to keep it simple. This really is great advice... but let's expand on it just a bit!

The basic keys to feeling fear.... or any other emotion are:
(Note: Each of these could probably be it's own post, so consider this as an introduction.)

1 - STOP - interrupt whatever the habitual pattern is that we usually fall into in dealing with fear. This is to give you a gap of time between whatever it is that is triggering you and acting. [The gap is used to determine what is really going on and eventually determining the course of action, if any.]

Answer the question, how am I resisting?

There are a multitude of ways.... probably as many ways as there are people. A clue for you is if you begin to notice any type of repetitive behavior such as smoking, reaching for a drink, reaching for a piece of candy... or even more socially accepted methods such as shopping, or working too much.... or even things you may not realize..... like glazing over watching a TV show, playing a video game or going out dancing. (None of these things is "bad" in and of itself.... I am simply suggesting that if you do any of these repetitively, there may be something more there.)

The way to tell if you are using a certain behavior to resist or avoid is quite simple according to Gary Zukav. Simply refrain from doing the behavior.... and see how you feel... see what happens.... If you begin to feel uncomfortable, there is a good chance you are using that behavior to resist.

2 - Figure out what it is you are feeling. If you are not clear on what is causing your repetitive behavior (and this is quite normal!!!!) try revisiting the post on the Why Process. Get as specific as possible about the feeling... I call it, "getting under" what it seems like is on the surface and seeing what is really happening.... what you are really feeling. Another clue here is to try to move towards fear, like the teen with the scratch on his car, who appeared angry, but in reality was in fear about his social status.
Then -

3 - Remember an important point from My Stoke of Insight by Jill Bolte Taylor. An emotion only takes 90 seconds to physically move through your body... it is like a wave with a beginning, a crest and an end. Initially it washes over you, the way a wave does, but then also recedes, the way a wave does.

So grab your surfboard ....here are my suggestions for "riding the wave".....

• Repeat your True Colors Phrase (January 2009) to remind yourself that what you are feeling is not entirely true (this is similar to the idea I've mentioned previously of re-programming a computer, taping over an old tape or resynching the I-pod.)

Though this explanation is from a spiritual perspective, there is a scientific explanation as well. The brain has developed connections from repeated behavior. This can be likened to walking over and over on the same dirt path. After a while, a trench is formed. The trench can be more difficult to climb out of than stepping off the path earlier on... as more and more connections have now formed in the brain... but it is still quite possible to climb out of the trench. You do this by forming new connections in the brain. The True Colors Phrase is one of those new connections.

• Try to step out of the emotion the way Gary Zukav describes stepping out of a river (the emotion) and on to a bridge above so that you can both view it and are not swept away by it. Eckhart Tolle calls this consciousness or being in the "observer" mode.  This means to try to observe the emotion rather than "becoming" it.  For additional reading on this subject, see The Voice, 8/2009 and the Observer 9/2009. 

I have a name for it too. I call it "sitting with it." A way to think of it is as "allowing." It has to do with just "sitting with" the feeling and allowing it to pass through you or wash over you. Not fighting it, not resisting it... AND not acting on it in the way you typically might. For 90 seconds attempt to allow it pass through your body. Watch a clock if you have to. If you must, at the end of the 90 seconds, scream into a pillow, kick your mattress or punch a punching bag! I also suggest journaling afterwards, yoga, exercising, or meditation!
It is us (the ego) who spends the remainder of the time (and our energy) resisting the feeling in all sorts of ways as described above. Anything that takes longer than 90 seconds....lets you know there is resistance of some sort going on. But don't be hard on yourself, EVERYONE resists something...most of us many things!

• Let me add.... a final step
  BREATHE!!!!!! Part of the others but worth mentioning.

AS ALWAYS, I suggest starting with something simple....something that does not really create a great amount of fear. I am going to start with the example of someone getting in line in front of you in the "10 items or less" line with 16 items.....clearly more than they should have...

A quick why process...... maybe it is anger.... ask why does it make you angry?
It's not right?
It's not fair?
It's making you wait longer?
Why does that make you angry?
I always end up getting the short end of the stick.
Why does that upset you (vs. why it might upset me?)
It makes me feel unimportant.

A-HA! See, that is the real feeling! The fear! Outwardly, before, you might have rolled your eyes or looked at another person in line as if to say, "Can you believe this guy?" but now you know... it is really caused because you are feeling unimportant!!! (In my example, your reason may be different!)

Whatever YOUR particular reason....try just "sit with it." Use that extra time in line to actually feel the anger.... please DO NOT ACT..... just feel.... inside. No one else need know what is happening inside you.

A point I want to make very clear here is that lashing out at someone, becoming violent or abusive, yelling at someone.... these are ways people may typically think they feel their emotions. I want to clarify that these behaviors are a CHOICE one makes AFTER the feeling arises. It often happens SO rapidly that we do not feel it as separate or as a choice... but it is. I am suggesting STOPPING BEFORE that choice is made and experiencing the feeling fully. If you can do that, there will be no need to yell, etc. [I may have previously suggested mindfulness and meditation once or twice....ok maybe 6 or 8 times before..... to help with slowing this whole process down!!!!]

See if you feel something in your stomach (uneasy stomach), your chest (faster heart rate), your throat (tightening) or your face (hot, red, etc.) Breathe! This is the actual energy of the emotion moving through your body. Allow it to! Breathe! You will see that after it is finished.... IT IS GONE!

**NOTE - if this is a particularly difficult issue for you, please pick another one such as a traffic jam, a long line at the bank, someone cutting you off in traffic, bad weather....etc.... just something that is not your most difficult issue.....something little first that will pass through you much more easily and with much less resistance.]
I always suggest starting with those issues that don't "push your buttons" so to speak because this is like developing a muscle. You don't go out and run a marathon without training. This is like developing spiritual muscle. With that muscle...... you really can turn those lions and tigers....into house cats!

I would love to hear your feedback as well as any questions you may have or topics you may be interested in for the future. You may comment at the bottom at the blog where it says "comments." All posts will be archived on my blog along with other useful information at: Simply Spirituality or http://simplyspirituality.blogspot.com/

To continue reading next month's post on Intuition, click here.

Until next month....
Here's hoping you keep your spirituality simple!
Penelope

Picture of the month:

Puff the Housecat, FL, July 1998

Just for this Moment!

Bonus April post! Just for this one moment....

I have an idea.... just for one moment.... STOP, pause your mental I-pod, tape or CD (whatever works for you!) .... don't even worry about what it is saying right now. Take one, full, deep, breath.... do it one more time with your eyes closed.... Be here right now..... with me!

Now, relax your shoulders, especially if you are sitting at a computer we often sit with them tensed... push them down and lengthen your neck. Next, soften your eyes a bit. Are you scrunching your face up somewhere? Maybe your forehead? Relax it a bit. Is your jaw clenched? Open it slightly.

Right now, in this moment, what do you really HAVE to do? You HAVE to breathe and your heart HAS to beat. You body and brain take care of both of those, along with a host of other things you don't have to think about, so don't worry too much about them for this moment.

Is there anything else you HAVE to do right at this exact moment? OK, you are reading... possibly sitting. Your hand may be sitting on the mouse or keyboard... or holding a page of paper, depending on how you reading this post.

You have allowed yourself 2-3 minutes to read this post. Attempt for those 2 or 3 minutes not to rush through this... [I'll make it a short one, I promise!] Try to be present in your chair, reading these words.

Is there REALLY anything else you HAVE to do right NOW?

In a while, you will HAVE to eat some food, drink some water, use the rest room..... and later sleep. Your body will let you know when each of those things is necessary... so don't worry about them for this moment either.

Take notice of what is going on around you......

Observe the area where you are sitting. Do you have pictures of your family or friends? Observe the desk or chair where you are sitting. Do you have a calendar with interesting pictures on it? A window with a view of water or trees? How often do you notice each of these things?

Do you hear anything? Music? TV? People talking? A fan, heater or air conditioner running? A dog barking? Children playing.... or in my case fighting? Even if it is loud or there are other people around, just take notice of them for a moment. Try not to judge any of it.

Do you smell anything? Is something cooking? Does the dog need a bath? ; )

What can you feel? Can you feel the chair beneath you? Are your feet on the floor? Can you feel the keys or mouse under your fingers? Have you ever noticed that before?

In this particular moment, this is really all there is "to-do"......

Later, you may have a phone call to make, work you brought home, clothes to fold, e-mail to go through, bills to pay, dinner to make, a tax return (or extension) to finish .... or a dozen or 2 other things on the to-do list, but if you have decided to continue reading this far, congratulate yourself on putting them aside and taking 2-3 minutes for yourself .... and guess what else....... doing a mini-meditation!

Notice how you are feeling.... do you feel a little bit more relaxed? Were you able to pause the mental I-pod momentarily? If you feel a bit more relaxed or enjoyed reading these few paragraphs, this post will remain here, so you can come back any time you like..... and we can do it again! Simply look in the navigation box on the top of the right column for the post, "Just for this Moment!" and take another moment for yourself!

To continue reading next month's post on Feeling Fear: Turn the Lions into House Cats! Please click here.

Here's hoping you keep your spirituality simple!
Penelope

Picture of the Month (Bonus!)

Sunset in Key West, FL, August 2003

You Can't Do It Wrong

Quote of the month:

God makes his rain to fall

on the just and the unjust alike.
God makes the sun to shine

on the good as well as the evil.

-Matthew 5:45

When was the last time someone told you that you could not do something "wrong"?

Before continuing on with the conversation about fear from last month.... I want to share an idea about "doing it wrong." I've heard from a number of people over the last few months that they think they are not doing this spirituality thing "right."

Believe it or not...... you really cannot do it wrong! Gary Zukav explains this as follows.... think of any situation in your life as though there are a series of doors in front of you. Each door represents a possible choice in the given situation. Each door has a given consequence. When you choose the door you choose the consequence. In each situation, there may be an "optimal" choice. Choosing this door will produce the greatest growth, but in no case is there a "wrong" door. In fact, Gary Zukav would go so far as to say that each is "perfect." Keep in mind that the universe does not judge, only you judge. So if you do A you get B, like in science.

It is the law of cause and effect or Newton's Third law:
Whenever a particle A exerts a force on another particle B, B simultaneously exerts a force on A with the same magnitude in the opposite direction....

or to keep it simple....

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

I like to use the example of the toy called Newton's Cradle.... Do you remember it? Here is a picture of it...

Pull one ball out and drop it - it hits the others, and then one ball goes out on the opposite side. If you pull 2 out, then 2 go out on the other side...... transfer of energy .... cause and effect.... Hopefully you've seen one and understand what I am saying.

So if you are happy with the effects/consequences you are getting...keep doing what you are doing. If there is an area of your life where you are not happy, experiment with your life and try something new! You will get results that you can then decide are satisfactory....or not! Follow? It is your choice, the Universe will simply deliver the results you choose to create.

Like all other universal laws, the law of cause and effect knows no prejudice and delivers in exact proportion the same to all, regardless of belief, age, gender, origin, or religion. Just as the quote from Matthew states above.

Unlike man made law, the law of cause and effect is inescapable and delivers back to you, the results of whatever you give to the universe, which is dependent only on whatever action or inaction you choose to take/or not take.

What a relief! Whatever you do will be perfect!!!!

I would love to hear your feedback as well as any questions you may have or topics you may be interested in for the future. You may comment at the bottom at the blog where it says "comments." All posts will be archived on my blog along with other useful information at: Simply Spirituality or http://simplyspirituality.blogspot.com/

To read the next post and take a mini-meditation, please click here. To continue reading next month's post on Feeling Fear: Turn the Lions into House Cats! Please click here.

Until next month....
Here's hoping you keep your spirituality simple!
Penelope

Picture of the month

Running in the Fountain...

Disney World, FL, September, 2002

Fear

Quote of the month:

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience

in which you really stop to look fear in the face....

You must do the thing you think you cannot.
-Eleanor Roosevelt

Back in the days of cavemen, one might find themselves running in fear for their lives from a tiger, a lion or other wild animal. Today, most of us are not physically running for survival, but fear still plays a role in our every day lives.

As the caveman, most, if not all of us have fears that we are also running from. In our case, the "something" we are running from is generally of an emotional nature rather than physical nature....and many times we are not fully aware of it. We looked at this in the December blog, during the Why Process. That process attempts to clarify just what it is that causes you stress. Underneath that stress, is something that scares you.

Let's take a simple example.....
From November's post, we talked about attachments and how at different stages of our lives we identified with different things..... a child with a bike, a teen with a car, with clothing or with friends.... We talked about how a teenager might act on emotion when it comes to any of the things listed. and how a teenage boy might over-react by hitting someone, if they scratch his new car.

Breaking that down, what is going on there? Is he running from something, similar to the caveman? We are going on the assumption that the boy is identified with the car. He feels like he IS the car, or that the car represents something about who he is. So, a simple why process (see December's post for more information) might go something like this.....

Why did you hit that guy?
I'm mad!
Why?
He scratched my car.
Why does that make you feel mad?
Now my car doesn't look good!
So? It still runs. Why does the scratch make you mad?
(Think why is it this way for you? vs. Why it might make me angry.)
If my car doesn't look good, it makes me not look good.
It's just a car. How does it do that?
If I don't look good..... I might not get a date....
or If I don't look good.... the guys might not think I am cool..... etc.

Do you see the fear underneath the anger? The outward appearance is anger, but what is causing it beneath is the fear that he won't be seen as cool, or the fear that he will not get a date?

Of course this is a simplistic example, but the simplicity of this can be applied to other situations our every day life. Substitute a father yelling at a little league coach for the teen age boy, and a perceived "bad call" for the scratch on the car. Or substitute an angry driver with road rage for the teenager, and someone passing them or making a mistake while driving near them for the scratch.

Here is another example.... a child cheating on a test.....

Why did you cheat?
Because I have to get good grades.
Why?
So I can go to a good college.
But why did you cheat?
I am not smart enough to do it on my own.

In this case, substitute a job for the test and taking credit for someone else's hard work for cheating....

It is also important to note that the Why? can be different for everyone. The outward behavior of taking the credit may be the same, but the fear underneath could be varied.
For one person it might be looking good,
another being successful,
another might be afraid that the boss doesn't like them,
another might want to impress their spouse,
another might be out for more money, power, prestige, etc.
The list is really endless.

Although an over generalized statement, for the most part, "bad" or negative behavior is generally an indicator of some sort of fear underneath causing the behavior.

If you don't think this applies to you, let's go back and revisit your Why Process. Remember when you came up with something that was causing you stress? And asked yourself why....

It may take some time, but at the core, you eventually will get to a fear of some sort....but that is the good news!!! At least when you really know what is driving your behavior, you have the opportunity to do something about it. I also want to add here (and it may be the topic of a future blog) that there is no right and wrong here and no judgment. These are areas of your own life that you identified as causing you stress. The idea is to understand that you have a choice to experience your life differently and that we ALL have these types of fears.

The problem is, when you feel the fear of a lion or tiger chasing you....you run! One does not always think rationally in that situation. The intention of this month's post is to suggest that you look a little deeper at the things in your life that are causing you stress and consider the possibility that you may be in fear about something. If you can do this... I'll say again, that really is the good news! Once you see the "tiger," you can do as Eleanor Roosevelt suggests in the quote above.... and turn around, stand your ground, stare it in the face and not back down. More on that in a future post!

To continue reading next month's post on You Can't do it Wrong! click here.

I would love to hear your feedback as well as any questions you may have or topics you may be interested in for the future. You may comment at the bottom at the blog where it says "comments." All posts will be archived on my blog along with other useful information at: Simply Spirituality or http://simplyspirituality.blogspot.com/

Until next month....
Here's hoping you keep your spirituality simple!
Penelope

Picture of the month:

Lion, Lion Country, FL, March 2001

What is Spirituality?

Quote of the month:

I have lived with several Zen masters -

all of them cats.

-Eckhart Tolle

When I started this blog, I promised myself that I would only post things that I know as Truth for myself and only write what comes from my heart. Often, I will wake up in the middle of the night with ideas about what to write....and I get up and jot them down. Other times, insights come after meditation. Though I have several ideas of what I want to write about next, many of you know that I recently started working again. It has not left as much time as I'd like to write or to meditate (though I still do at least some every day!)

This month, my thoughts about what I want to write are not as clear as I'd like them to be. So I have decided to borrow some material from a recent show on spirituality in which various guests discussed what spirituality meant to them. I wrote about what spirituality means to me in the Introduction to the first post of this blog. That definition continues to grow and change over time.

Below....several spiritual leaders explain what spirituality means to them. As you read each one, see if anything they say resonates with you. If so, it may be helpful to you on your own journey to look into what they have to say further. Happy trails.....

Eckhart Tolle, author of The Power of Now and A New Earth, says that to be spiritual is to live in a state of openness. With that openness, a far greater power comes into your life. So to be spiritual is to be in touch, connected with that dimension of depth in yourself.

Eckhart says that you need to become more aware of the aliveness of this moment. The aliveness that is all around you no matter where you are. To become aware of that, you need to become a little bit more alert than you usually are. Increasingly, you become rooted in the aliveness and the fullness of the present moment. That's to lead a spiritual life.

Spiritual author and lecturer Marianne Williamson says that spirituality wakens when you become still and humble. There are forces inside you—forces of fear and limitation and chaos—and they live inside us saying, "You can't do that." Spirituality is where you lay claim to a ground of being within yourself where you say, "I want to be that. I really do. I want to be that person that I'm capable of being."

Marianne says that people aren't happy because of what they aren't giving. The most important thing is that we learn how to forgive each other and that we learn how to love each other. How to live in the spirit of blessing and not blame. The spiritual path doesn't mean always an easier path, but it means a choice. A choice that we're making to try our best to be as loving as we can be.

Michael Bernard Beckwith says that love, peace, harmony and wisdom are everlasting qualities. They're real and they're eternal, and so when an individual is connected to those qualities and begins to exude them and express them, at that moment, they're in the spirit. And when an individual is mature enough to express that on a regular basis, we can say that they're spiritually mature. Regardless of the temporary problems you may be experiencing,

Michael says that the connection to love, peace and harmony stays with you. That which carries you when you're going through tough times. By letting go of what we think life is supposed to be, we can find greater spirituality. As a matter of fact, all spiritual growth is really about letting go of something. It's not about gaining anything. That's what it means to be spiritual.

Elizabeth Lesser is a leading spiritual thinker and the co-founder of Omega Institute, an education center focused on wellness and spirituality. Elizabeth says that everyone has a spiritual side, but she says it can be hard to tap into that part of yourself. Spirituality is an instinct. We have our instincts to eat and sleep and work and survive and thrive, but we also have a spiritual instinct. When we talk about a "spiritual path," what we're talking about is already there inside us, this instinct that we are more than our mind and body. The path is just getting obstacles out of the way.

Elizabeth says that spirituality is often simply accepting where life takes you. We all can relate to the feeling that life is happening to us. We're in this stream of life, and instead of relaxing into it, we're swimming as hard as we can against the current. That's sort of the opposite of the spiritual instinct. The spiritual instinct is to relax into the mystery of life as it's happening.

Gary Zukav was not on the show that I mentioned above, but I wanted to include his ideas briefly since he has been such an influence on my own path. Gary uses the term Authentic Power to describe the alignment of the personality with the soul (aligning with harmony, cooperation, sharing, and reverence for Life). When someone lives in fear, the frightened parts of their personality are the parts that act (e.g., anger, jealousy, superiority, inferiority, vengefulness, etc.)

With awareness, in the present moment of all that you are feeling, moment-by-moment, one can learn to challenge these aspects of themselves, and move towards Love.

An authentically empowered personality has the characteristics of humbleness.. this means that one is free to love and to be who you are, with no artificial standards to live up to. Also clarity... which means one has the perception of wisdom and the ability to see the soul in action in the physical world. And forgiveness.... which means that one does not hold others responsible for their own experiences.... and love.... the energy of the soul. This includes gratitude, contentment, appreciation and awe.

To continue reading next month's post on Fear, click here.

I would love to hear your feedback as well as any questions you may have or topics you may be interested in for the future. You may comment at the bottom at the blog where it says "comments."

Until next month....Here's hoping you keep your spirituality simple!
Penelope

Photo of the month:

Flowers in Alexandria, VA, August 2001

True Colors

Quote of the month:

I see your true colors shining through…
…so don't be afraid, to let them show,

your true colors are beautiful,like a rainbow.

-Cyndi Lauper

Your true colors...are beautiful like a rainbow! Last month, we talked about making a list of characteristics, successes or accomplishments, sitting with that for a while and then trying to put that feeling into your own words. I call this your true colors phrase. You may have several true colors phrases, one for each particular area of your life that you wish to experience differently. To keep it simple, I suggest working with one at a time. It is also generally easier to begin with an area of your life that is not your biggest challenge.

Here are some more suggestions for coming up with a true colors phrase.

It must be TRUE!

You may say that this sounds similar to coming up with a mantra or affirmation. Mantras are fine too, if they work for you, but there are several ways that this is different from a mantra. Often, a mantra is not a true statement, but rather the way you want something to be. Repeating over and over that the sky is green will not make it so. In our example from last month about a new endeavor, the subconscious is still there telling you what it really thinks. You are trying to say, I can write a blog....and it is there in the background calling you a liar! You will hear underneath your voice, your subconscious saying, "No you can't!!!" This is what you will really hear on an emotional level. Last month the suggestion was to make a list of REAL positive situations where you have been successful. It is real information that the subconscious cannot argue with.

The true colors phrase should be short and concise. Try to boil it down to a few words. Something that you can easily remember and repeat when you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts.

Another difference is that a true colors phrase is designed to bring up a specific feeling. It will bring up the FEELING of the successes or accomplishments over again and the subconscious will be better able to believe it. It is important to note here, that you may not get to the feeling part immediately. Feelings actually start as a thought in your head. We don't realize this, as the process becomes so automatic, but if you can slow it down (meditation helps!) you see that the thought comes first, which then creates the feeling.

Some of you have told me either that the true colors phase does not bring up a good feeling or that your mind is still in there telling you that you are a "liar" even on the real accomplishments. This is where the use of your will comes in. Facts are facts. The mind cannot argue with facts. If this is the case, start with reminding yourself each time the mind wants to tell you that it is not enough or still not good enough. (You can also re-read September's post on Your Thoughts Create Your Reality, or "just the facts" on not making judgements about each and every thought that comes through your mind.) Then, allow yourself to own your accomplishments. It may take some time and repetition, but over time, you will re-train your mind. You can think of it almost like reprogramming a computer....except that we are not machines and require multiple efforts to "reprogram."

Gary Zukav says the longest distance you will ever travel is from your head to your heart! Getting a thought from your head to a feeling in your heart may take time. Your "heart" (the feeling) has been listening to that other criticizing part for so long that says it's not enough...so that is what your heart may currently be "believing" (in the form of a feeling also.) Repetition is key for this also!

Probably by this time, if you have been following along every month, it is becoming apparent, that when you become aware of your I-pod/tape chatter saying something negative .....it then becomes a matter of repeatedly replacing the old thought with the new thought...the true colors phrase. To continue the I-pod/tape metaphor….it is like going back and recording a new song on the tape or synching your I-pod with a new play list. In both cases, you are replacing the old information with new. As mentioned above, we are not computers or machines and it generally cannot be accomplished with just one time….but each time you become aware, challenge the thought and replace it with a new one, the new thought becomes stronger.

Please understand the personal power this simple technique can give you…. Even if it is something you have believed or been told your whole life. I try to keep these posts light and simple, but there are some very powerful applications for this simple technique. Think of a child that fails a test or class....and the beliefs that child could adopt as a result. Think of a person who is fired from a job and the thoughts and beliefs that could result.... or a child who has experienced abuse or has been picked on or bullied... he or she may develop certain thoughts and beliefs about themselves, or thoughts about why the abuse or bullying occurred. Very often people attribute the cause to something about themselves...a flaw of some sort....or it could lead to a powerless feeling....or any number of different feelings or coping mechanisms. Again, there may be as many different ways of coping as their are people and situations.

Any one of those thoughts may be enough to make some one want to give up. I am simply suggesting that there may be other ways to look at each of those challenges….especially if they are creating negative feelings for you or consequences you are not happy with. If you find yourself saying, "But that really is a terrible thing that happened to me!" I would suggest to go back to the why process. You may have old coping mechanisms that are no longer serving you. I would also suggest that losing yourself in the "terrible-ness" of it will not help you find a new job, pass the next test or deal with the next bully. But drawing on your accomplishments, successes and achievements by using your true colors phrase may! It may help you change a long term belief system into a new way of looking at life. It may change the way you experience a challenging situation and may help you relieve some of the stress in your life.

The true colors phrase is (real, true) information in the form of a thought in your head that works its way into a feeling in your heart. Once it reaches the feeling stage, it is more likely to become your new way of viewing that particular circumstance. I personally know that this process can work and can change the way you experience your life.

The picture of the month this month is not mine. When I started writing this particular topic a few months ago, I was looking for a picture of a rainbow to represent "true colors" and "beautiful like a rainbow." I do not have my own picture of a rainbow, so I searched on line for one. Nothing stood out. At the same time, I went to read my niece's blog, The Mommy Writer. (This is also listed on the right side of my blog page under "My Blogs List.") THAT DAY, when I was looking for a picture of a rainbow, she had, ironically, just posted a picture of a rainbow on her blog....so it seemed appropriate to use that picture. Here is the link to that picture and it is posted below as well.

To continue reading next month's post on What is Spirituality? click here.

I would love to hear your feedback as well as any questions you may have or topics you may be interested in for the future. You may comment at the bottom at the blog where it says "comments."

All posts will be archived on my blog along with other useful information at: Simply Spirituality or http://simplyspirituality.blogspot.com/

Until next month....
Here's hoping you keep your spirituality simple!

Penelope

Picture of the month:

Beautiful like a Rainbow