Life After Loss... Learn to Live Again

Photo of the Month:

Baby Mourning Dove, Maryland, April 2013
Photo credit:  Mary Pokluda, Bumblebee Personal Assistants

Quote(s) of the Month:

It's been written 

in the scars on our hearts
That we're not broken - just bent
And we can learn to "live" again.

- Pink

....here and nowMy universe will never be the sameI'm glad you came.- The Wanted

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

-Alfred Lord Tennyson In Memoriam:27
A mama bird built her nest in the planter right outside my office window.  She and I kept an eye on each other throughout the day.... for several weeks.  I hated to water the plant, as she flew away when I did, but always returned.  One time, I took the planter down to check.... and sure enough, there was one tiny egg in the nest.  Days went by and I started to get worried about the egg... how long did it take for an egg to hatch?  What kind of bird was it anyway?  
One day, a good friend of mine was visiting.  She went to look at the nest and told me it was a "morning" dove.  That day I went to the Internet and searched "morning" dove.  What came up instead was "mourning" dove.  Oooooh... "mourning" not "morning" because of the sound it makes.  How ironic is that?  That a mourning dove perched just outside my window 16 months after my family suffered a great loss?  More time went by.  One day my friend thought the mama bird looked like she was sitting differently in the nest.  My (tall) friend was able to get a photo of Mama and baby without disturbing the planter.  Remarkably, Mama even moved over so we could get the nice photo of her baby (above)!  
We all experience and mourn many losses over our life times.  Hopefully most are not so dramatic as the loss my family suffered in January 2012, but when we think back over the course of our lives and think about times when we felt a sense of loss, there may be more than we realize.  Dr. H. Norman Wright recommends writing a "loss history" to help identify and work through past losses. He suggests including any instances where you might have felt a sense of loss, no matter how unimportant the circumstances seem now.  
He suggests that we broaden our concept of "loss" to include any situation that created emotional turmoil over the loss.  Think of situations beyond death, such as:

• missed promotions, 
• friends moving away, 
• the end of relationship and friendships, 
• end of marriages, 
• the death of pets, 
• job losses, 
• children leaving home and 
• lost opportunities. 

You may be able to add a few more to the list.  I think we all, in the USA, suffered the loss of a sense of security on 9/11, which we were recently reminded of after the events at the Boston Marathon.  Each of these situations creates a sense of loss and each must be grieved to a certain extent and released, unless we choose to carry the pain with us forever.
Dr. Wright suggests that one come to the point at which they can say, of each loss, "Yes, that happened to me, but now I'm going on with my life," compared to "Boy, that happened to me, and I'm still stuck in the pain." 
To help express what you are feeling, it may help to share your story with others.  Dr. Wright suggests to follow these steps:

1. Identify your loss. What did you lose?
2. Determine your specific feelings about that loss. 
3. Tell someone: "I'm feeling ---- because of this loss."

Dr. H. Norman Wright suggests that public affirmation and recognition of what one goes through helps legitimize the loss.  A Simple way to do this is through a support group of some type.      
Volunteering or assisting others may also help ease the pain of loss.  I recently attended a memorial service for fallen law enforcement officers.  One of the speakers talked about how she was in her mid 20's when she married and had only been married for 6 weeks when her husband was killed on the job.  Suddenly she was a widow at a time when the day before her life appeared full of opportunity.  She said that he didn't have a choice, but she did..... and "to waste her life would be a sin!"  She went on to become the president of an organization that assists families of fallen law enforcement officers.  The organization is COPS - Concerns of Police Survivors http://www.nationalcops.org/  
The day I took my friend from the baby bird experience to the airport, on the return trip, 2 different songs played 3 times on the radio on my way home.  (Different stations, but still rather ironic given it was only a 40 minute drive!)  By the 3rd time I started to pay attention to the lyrics.... they are in the quotes above.  I adapted Pink's lyrics just a bit... hopefully she won't mind too much!  : )   When we are grieving a loss, it feels like we are "broken."  Pink's reminder is that we are not broken, we are still here... we are just "bent."  Much as the woman whose husband was killed after 6 weeks of marriage... not living - or believing we are broken - would be a waste of our lives.  
My interpretation of the next song and quote is that I am incredibly grateful to have known the people that have been lost.... (I'm glad you came, I will never be the same!) and it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all according to Tennyson.  In one of the sympathy cards I received, a friend, who had been widowed wrote that "One day the pain of grief will be replaced with joy of having known the person."  Honestly, I am not there all of the time.... not every day... but I see that as a possibility one day!  If your loss is fresh, give yourself time but remember and trust the words that were written in that card.... as I do.  
Most of all.... it is also OK to learn to live again. This little baby bird didn't even know I was keeping an eye on him.... but somehow this new life inspired me to find new life and new energy in my own situation. Two days later, when I went to show someone else the bird... Mama and baby were gone.  She had taught him how to fly!  
My Simple suggestion this month is to consider the losses in your own life as Dr. Wright suggests.  See if there are any losses you might be carrying around with you.... that might be holding you back.  If so, find a good friend and talk about it, write out what you are feeling in a journal or try some of the other suggestions listed here.  Try to get the emotional piece out, so you can become "un-bent."  Appreciate the person or situation for what you gained from going through it or knowing them.  Also know that when it is time.... find new energy in your own life, learn to fly like the baby bird did and learn to live again! 
Until next month,Keep it Simple!
Penelope

Be Your Own Best Friend

Photo of the month:

Friends, December 2004, Naples, FL

Quote of the month:

You would see 

the biggest gift would be from me

and the card attached would say,

"Thank you for being a friend!"

- Golden Girls Theme

When a friend comes to you with a problem.... how do you talk to them?  Let's use the example of your friend making a mistake at work.  Nothing bad happened, but they felt stupid (their word) for having made the mistake.  

What would you say to them?  

Would you tell them, 
"Boy that was stupid!" or 
"I can't believe you did that!"  or how about, 
"We should enter than one in the L-CIA 'Lack of Central Intelligence Agency Hall of Fame!' " 

Of course NOT!  You would help them see the situation differently, minimize the "lack of intelligence" factor and help them feel better about themselves.  You would remind them that everyone else has probably already forgotten about it... and that they shouldn't continue to be hard on themselves over something rather insignificant like this.  In short, you would be kind and compassionate.  Well, most of you would be anyway!  : )  

Now, let's change the scenario just a little bit.... let's say that YOU are the one who did something "stupid" at work.  Nothing bad happened to anyone, but you just feel like everyone at the work place witnessed your brief lack of intelligence.  

What would you say to yourself?  

Let's revisit the list above.... "Boy that was stupid,"  "I can't believe I did that...."  "Let's enter that one in the hall of fame..." and then add "you are such an idiot!" 

So why would you talk to yourself so much differently than to your friend?   Why are we so hard on ourselves, when we would never speak to others that way?  Why don't we treat ourselves with the same kindness, care and concern that we would treat a friend?  Do you have an answer?

What is really going on underneath it?  Go back to the situation at work... imagine what one would feel in this situation.  Let's keep it so simple that we can't miss the point.  Let's say someone asked what is 2 + 2 and you answered 5.  When someone else says, "No, it's 4!"  The mistake is realized.   One would probably feel embarrassed... there might be some shame.  Tara Brach suggests that we investigate our inner experience with kindness and compassion.  She suggests asking questions such as:

What is it that is really wanted in this situation? 
What most wants attention?
How am I experiencing this in my body?
What am I believing? or 
What does this feeling want from me?

She suggests using these types of questions to direct yourself inward ... and towards the Truth.  In reality, it is perfectly normal to feel that way.  Anyone would feel that way and no one would like it.  Using "What am I believing?"  One can see that they are believing that they are not intelligent.  This may lead to feeling like they do not deserve the job... or any number of other things.  What this internal feeling is really looking for is understanding and warmth, not more pain.  When seen from this perspective, we can shift into a more caring position, talk to yourself the way you would a friend, acknowledge the feeling and the pain... name it and allow it to "be"... This allows us to heal and move on.  If, instead we deny it, push it down, wish it was different or are hard on ourselves, this situation creates additional feelings such as shame or guilt that also need to be dealt with in addition to the original painful feeling.   

Also, in January's post, we talked about the difference between pain and suffering.  This is  really just another form of that suffering, and as we now know, suffering is optional!  Refer to the January post if need be!  Stopping with "what is" and feeling the pain of that alone, will end the process much more quickly.  

Another reference for self-compassion is Dr. Kristin Neff.  You can see her Ted Talk self-compassion on her website at the link.  

My Simple suggestion this month is that we treat ourselves with the same kindness and compassion that we would treat our friends.  Try it!  Let me know how it feels!

Until next month....
Keep it Simple,  
Penelope

Pain and Suffering

Photo of the month:

Reading by flashlight during a hurricane, 2004 

Quote of the month:

Suffering happens when 

you believe thoughts that tell you 

that something should be happening 

other than what IS happening.

- Scott Kiloby

Most of us have heard the term "pain and suffering" in a legal context. It is used in a way that indicates the two go together. This won't be a legal discussion but I want to offer another way to look at "pain and suffering" and separate them into two different things. This post will suggest that while pain is inevitable. It is part of the human experience..... suffering is optional.

Pain is the "ouch" when you hit your finger.  Suffering is everything else that comes after that.... "Why was I so stupid?" "Who put the hammer there?" "Who made these cheap nails?"  "I am such a chump... it always happens to me... why me?" (victim) or maybe you are not the victim but the victimizer and yell, "!*#$ hammer!!!" As you throw it across the room.

This is the world of suffering... all of this latter part is an illusion that is created in the mind. The pain is real. The pain is what happened... it is "what is," but that is only about 5% of it. The other 95% we usually think is pain is actually suffering. It is being made up in our minds. 

Let's apply this idea to a different kind of pain. Let's use the example of someone breaking off a relationship with you. This is real. This is "what is" and is mentally or emotionally painful. No one, no matter how enlightened they may become will escape pain in life. But  what usually comes next..... "I can't believe he/she broke up with me." "Why?! Why?!! Why?!!!" "Why did I ever go out with him?" "What's wrong with me?"  "Maybe I'm not handsome enough."  "I must have been stupid to go out with him!" "Maybe it's that other girl at school. I bet she stole him away."  "Maybe I should have gone to that pottery class with her, then she would have liked me more." Do I need to go on....? Can you add a few of your own to the list?

Sometimes, there can be a bit of drama in our house when it comes to doing homework. The fact is that if one wants a good grade, the homework must be completed. When the drama starts, I Simply point out that if one wants to, they CAN have the drama, and THEN do the homework - - OR - - they can Simply do the homework. I won't say that homework is necessarily painful, but the added drama is the optional suffering.

One more example..... you got a bad grade on a test or a negative evaluation at work. That would be a painful experience. Here comes the suffering.... "I can't believe it!" "I studied hard.. I am so stupid." "That test was so unfair - way too hard." "Maybe I should have done that homework!" - - -  "My boss is such a jerk."  "He doesn't know what he's talking about." "My boss doesn't care about me." Again, imagine yourself in either of these situations and see if you can add a few more of your own.

So, what is to be done about this? My first suggestion is to accept that pain is part of life and part of being human.  Next, just try to become aware of when you may be crossing over from pain into suffering. When you realize you may be creating some suffering - do NOT create even more suffering by berating yourself. We all have done it and continue to do it.

Remind yourself of what is real and what actually "IS." What is factual... and what exists. Sitting with actual pain is generally not as bad as we think it will be. Just allowing the pain to be without the extra drama of suffering allows real pain to dissipate more quickly.

Finally, I'll close with a Simple example.  The photo above was taken during a hurricane.  The power went out, which while not painful was unpleasant.  Instead of complaining and "suffering," we got out a flashlight and made the best of it... which soon led to flashlight tag and good memories instead of a miserable time.  

It is not always easy and life can sometimes be more complicated, but I offer this as a suggestion for a starting point!

Until next month,

Keep it Simple,

Penelope

Monsters Under the Bed

Photo of the month:

Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.

The Wizard of Oz

Quotes of the month:

Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.

- The Wizard of Oz

Do not anticipate trouble or worry 

about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.

- Benjamin Franklin

Think back to when you were a child. Did you ever watch a scary movie before going to bed? For me two movies come to mind... Alfred Hitchcock's, "The Birds" and one particular snake scene from the James Bond movie, "Live and Let Die."

After the movie, when it was time to go to sleep, were you so frightened that you didn't want to be alone in your bed? Of course your parents, knowing everything was fine, sent you to bed anyway. As you lay in your bed, frozen with fear.... you were absolutely certain.... that there must be.... that there had to be.... monsters under the bed!!!!!!!!

You summon up the courage to get out of your bed and look...  It turns out that there really were not any monsters under there after all. Confident, you climb back in bed, pull the covers up... and then realize your mistake.... of course they aren't under the bed... that's because.... they are in the closet!!!!!!!!!!!

Now that we are grown ups.... we can go to bed confident that there are not any made up monsters under our bed... or can we?

Let me paint a scenario.... you are at work and walk by a co-workers cubicle. Inside, two co-workers are not working at all, but sitting, talking and laughing. As you walk by, you hear the laughing get even louder. What is your first thought?

Here are a few possibilities....

• What are they saying? They must be laughing at me. I can't believe they would be talking about me behind my back like that!
• Look at them, goofing off again. I'll probably have to do more work to make up for their slacking.
• Why am I being excluded from their conversation? I always get left out!

Maybe you could add a few of your own. Please feel free to do that in the comments!

Let's try another one.....

You call a friend to ask them to go to dinner. Your friend is very short with you and tells you they can't have dinner tonight.

What monsters come to mind?

• I can't believe they would treat me like that. I am always the one who has to reach out and look where it gets me. Alone again!
• I wonder what I did wrong.... why don't they like me anymore?
• Forget them.... I've had it with them!!!

Do you have any to add?

As always, I try to keep the examples Simple and clear. Obviously in the first example, you have no idea what they are actually laughing about. They may have just read a funny e-mail joke or maybe one of them did something embarrassing and told the other one the story. You are no where to be found in either of these possibilities. In the second scenario, you may not realize that your friend just got very bad news about a family member and isn't thinking clearly. What your friend really needed was a friend to reach a little further.... but instead we get angry.  Both of these involve our reactions to other people, but it could also be that you are worried about something that has not happened yet or are feeling guilty about something from the past.  According to Wayne Dyer, the two most useless emotions are worry and guilt, but more on that another day.  He is in good company with the Benjamin Franklin quote above.

These are the made up "monsters" of the adult world. The things that push our buttons, upset us, or make us scared or angry before we really fully know the facts, but really are not real at all. This month, the Simple suggestion I am making is to take a close look at your own life and see where you may be making up a monster or a story about something that is going on in your life.

In a memorable scene from the classic film "The Wizard of Oz," the "great and powerful Oz" appears larger than life to Dorothy and her crew. Frightened, they inch forward towards the booming, fire spewing image they believe to be the real Oz. Toto comes to the rescue!  Running over to a curtain and pulling it back, he reveals that a man is pushing buttons and pulling levers. They realized that the larger than life image is, in fact, not real, but being created by "the man behind the curtain." At this point, he utters that famous line in the quote above, "Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain." But it is too late. He is found out.

Our mind, our ego or on this blog, I have also used the words "voice" or "tapes" that play in our head are similar to this movie scene. Whichever word you choose to use doesn't matter. The voice is trying to convince us that something is real when in reality it is just fiction or imagination made up by the man behind the curtain. It is creating a monster under the bed. Just as in "The Wizard of Oz," in reality, it has no real power over us.

One of my favorite quotes on this subject comes from Adyashanti. He says, "One of the good indications of truth is does it exist when you're not thinking about it?" Going back to the first scenario in the office, the only place you are being left out is in your own mind. Stop thinking about it and that disappears! In the second scenario about dinner, the only place you are being treated badly is also in your own mind. The solution is the same. Stop! At the very least, choose a different story. Tell yourself that they are intimidated by your good looks and don't want to have to be seen in public with you! : ) In reality, this is just another "monster" of a different type. It's Simply an example of how we create all different types of things in our minds.

This holiday month, if you want to make up a story, let's believe the best about each other instead of the worst. Better yet, pull open the curtain or climb under the bed and reveal that there are in fact no monsters there at all!!!

If you would like to watch a short clip of this scene from "The Wizard of Oz," scroll down to the next post and enjoy!

Until next month...

Happy Holidays and keep it Simple!

Penelope   

The Wizard of Oz

Enjoy a brief scene from this classic movie....
If you have trouble viewing it on this blog, click here to view on You Tube.

Something New....

Dove

This month, I am starting something new.  As many of you know, my husband passed away suddenly and very unexpectedly in January of 2012.  My world, and that of our two boys, was abruptly turned upside down without warning and we are still on a journey of healing.  This month, in honor of his birthday, I am starting a new blog.  


A friend of mine who has traveled to Liberia, Africa, shared with me that when a woman is widowed in Liberia, an older widow is sent to stay with the younger widow... to help the younger widow through the difficult adjustment. In the last nine months I've met a number of other widows.  I wanted to provide a space for widows to share with each other, the things that have helped them on their own journey as well as a place to ask questions that remain unresolved in their lives.


My intention is to keep Simply Spirituality as it is, but I have created a new site called Widows Helping Widows.  The web address is a little bit different than that of Simply Spirituality.  It does not include "blogspot" in the address.  I have the domain name and the address is as follows: http://widowshelpingwidows.blogspot.com/

My hope is that you will never need the new site.  If you, or someone you know, could benefit from the site, there will be a link to it on Simply Spirituality to find it quickly and Simply!  On the RIGHT side of this page, you can either click the photo of the dove or the link below it. If the new site can make the journey easier, better, simpler.....  for someone else, then it will have served its purpose.

I am not a lawyer, a financial planner, a doctor or a psychologist, so I would advise you to consult with the authorities where necessary.  I am simply a mother, was a wife, and now a widow who has been through (and is going through) this.  My intention is to attempt to take what has been a negative in my life and try to make something positive come from it.  My goal is to address different aspects of widow-widower hood.  Not simply the grief aspect, but also the every day logistics of dealing with a death and adapting to life as a single person.  This is the "virtual"  version of the women in Liberia who are there to comfort and assist each other as I mention above.  By sharing our experiences and our strategies - in a positive manner - we can create a similar "virtual" community where we help and support each other.

The new site is for both men and women.  It is also for those who are supportive of someone going through a death.  There may be things that apply to loss in general as well.
I live in the United States, so much of what I say will be of my experience - for example - going to Social Security Administration.  Living in this virtual global "village" as we do today, I welcome comments and suggestions from around the world.

Click here .... Widows helping Widows to visit the new site!

Please leave comments, suggestions or questions in the "comments" section of any post.
One day at a time,
Penelope

Happy 4th Birthday! NOW.... Get Back on your Mat

Photo of the month:



4 Years Old! 

Quote of the month:

Get back on your mat!

 - KB

This month marks four years of Simply Spirituality. I say this every year, but it is still hard for me to believe another year has passed. When I began, there were about 5 or 6 posts floating around in my mind and now, some 50 posts later, it still feels as though I've barely scratched the surface.

This past year has been one of the most successful years of the blog with many new people signing up and/or following by other means - Facebook, Twitter, etc. Thank you to all of you, both those that have supported the blog since the beginning and those that have joined us on this journey along the way! 

Many of you know that this last year has been one of the most challenging of my life.  There is a further explanation in the January 2012 post, but briefly, our family suffered a very significant loss this year. This has challenged me in every way imaginable - emotionally, mentally, financially, as a parent, even physically at times and also spiritually.   I even considered if I had it in me to continue the blog when so much of the rest of my life felt chaotic. I am happy to report that I plan to continue posting as long as the Universe continues to send me the words!

A recent visit with a dear friend of mine gave me the quote of the month above, "Get back on your mat." (As in yoga mat.) This Simple phrase that she shared with me has been my mantra for the last several weeks and has especially helped during this trying time in my life.  

  

In May 2011, the post titled, Life as a Marathon was written.  In this post I talked about the many steps involved in a long distance move and compared it to the many physical steps taken in running a marathon. My suggestion was to focus on the one step one is taking at the moment. 

This is exactly the essence of "get back on your mat."  When doing yoga, one generally uses a mat.......

Get back on your mat!

BUT - - ones mind often is anywhere but the mat. It may be on what you are cooking for dinner, the stop you need to make at the grocery store on the way home from yoga class, the call you forgot to make before leaving work or on your neighbor, on their mat, who seems to be doing a better downward dog than you judge yourself to be doing. NONE OF THESE are your own mat. To do yoga successfully - ones mind must be where the body is and that is on the mat! : ) This simple practice can be applied to nearly anything else in life. Being mindful of where one is and focusing attention on what one is doing rather than the one hundred or one thousand other things floating through ones mind at any given time will help accomplish the one step someone is taking at that moment.

After yoga class, when one stops at the grocery store on the way home, is your mind with you in the store as you choose your apple (for more on "choosing apples,"  see the June 2009 post on Intuition) or is the mind back in the yoga class rehashing what you did incorrectly on your downward dog pose..... or is it STILL thinking about the call you forgot to make earlier?  Another related post was in August 2009, called "The Voice" that talks about the incessant voice in our head that constantly draws us off our mat.  

When I was little, I was taught that someone could only do one thing at a time and do it well. Today we are encouraged to seek multi-tasking as a goal. My personal experience is that less may actually be accomplished by multi-tasking. Mistakes are made or attention not given to detail.... I never tell anyone what they "should" do on this blog, but simply share what has worked for me. "Get back on your mat" reminds me to focus on what I am doing, where I am, and what is in front of me at this particular moment.  

This Simple phrase has helped me get back on my own "writing" mat!  In this birthday month of the blog.... I will especially remind myself of this and invite you to do the same!

Until next month....

Keep it simple!

Penelope

The Storyteller

Photo of the Month:

Photo provided by:  Alaska Vintage's Shop

Quote of the month:

Humans spend a lot of time not in the purity 

of the direct experience, 

but most of their time in thinking.... 

until it becomes so habitual that we actually think that 

the thoughts about things are more real than the things themselves.

- Adyashanti

It is great fun to lose ourselves in a good story.  A well written story can transport us to another world where we can experience things we might not otherwise be able to.  The little girl in the image above looks as though she may be imagining a land far far away as her father reads to her. These are not stories I am talking about today.    

The photo above is from my cousin's web site, Alaska Vintage where she has hundreds of authentic original vintage photos like the one above or her other site, www.beckisprout.com where you can find more vintage and other interesting items as well as books and clothing.  I'd appreciate it if you would take a look at her sites! 

What I am writing about today is the "stories" that take us down the path that takes us further from ourselves.... our true selves.  This exercise is borrowed from a spiritual teacher named Adyashanti.  You can visit his web site at http://www.adyashanti.org/ .  I have written in the past about The Voice and The Observer.  This exercise helps us to recognize the voice that as the "storyteller" and move us towards the observer position.  My suggestion is to try to do what the post describes as you go along...... enjoy!  

As we go through our day, we are always taking in the world around us through our senses. You can notice, as we sit here, reading this, that these sense are automatically functioning.  Your ears hear what is around you. Your eyes are taking in the images on your computer screen. Your sense of touch can feel you sitting in a chair or your feet on the floor.  This happens without any effort on your part or without you directing them to do so.  

We learned the senses as little children in school.....

Eyes - seeing

Ears - hearing 

Nose - smelling - there may not be much to smell at the moment, but the sense of smell is still present.

Tongue - tasting may also not be very active right now, but if you were to put something in your mouth, you would taste it without any additional effort on your part.

Skin - touching

When you put your attention on any one of your senses, you discover that they are extraordinarily neutral.  Hearing and our ears simply take sound in.  

It doesn't decide if it is good or bad or right or wrong.  There isn't any judgement or interpretation. There is no preference or commentary.

Just notice it for a moment.... it is a very pure thing.... hearing.... listening.

Notice how it is totally and absolutely effortless. There is a simplicity to it.

You could look at any of your senses in this way. They are always functioning in this way as open receptors.  It is a way to experience this moment in a very direct, pure, and Simple way.

It is NOT until you allow the mind, and thinking, to enter into it at we then assign interpretation, value or judgement to what we are experiencing.   Thinking, however, is very indirect.  It is not taking anything in the way the senses do. It is actually a commentary on what comes in through the senses.... it is like a Storyteller.....  weaving together what comes in through the senses. The mind is telling us if it is good or bad or right or wrong.

Let's experiment with this....

Focus on hearing for just a moment. What do you hear?  I can hear birds outside.  Any sound will do - the sound of the fan on your computer, some music in the back ground, maybe you can hear some yard work going on outside or maybe you can hear the birds like I can.  

Notice how your ears (hearing) take in the sound absolutely purely.  Your ears do not make any judgement of the sound.  

When you bring your mind into it.... your mind adds what you think about the sound of the birds.

First the mind may say "bird" providing a label.

Notice ears don't provide label they just take in the sound.

The mind is the function of thought.... the interpreter.... commentator.... or storyteller. The mind is removed from the direct experience. In reality, the mind only experiences its thoughts about things.

AS the quote above says, "Humans spend a lot of time not in the purity of the direct experience, but most of their time in thinking.... until it becomes so habitual that we actually think that the thoughts about things are more real than the things themselves."  Adyashanti says that we become mesmerized by the storyteller.

Going back to our example of the sound of the bird, one person's experience of the sound of the bird may be quite pleasant while another's may be call it an annoyance - this depends on the story ones mind is telling them.  How you interpret the sound of a bird really is not all that important in the scheme of things, but try applying the ideas in this post to other areas of your life... attempt to step out of the mind, the voice or the storyteller and become the observer as often as possible.  Try to observe what your mind is telling you about what is going on.

As I previously wrote in the Observer post, by making the shift and setting aside the judgments of the voice, it can help to stop creating negativity, suffering or unwanted consequences in your life.  At the very least it can help you live a more pleasant and full experience of life.  

YOU are the observer of the voice.  YOU can choose, if you want, to believe what it is telling your OR consider that it might be making up a story.... or even a purple elephant!  You'll have to read the Observer post to find out what that is all about!  : )   


One last suggestion.... you could just observe the mind and your thoughts without any judgment at all!

As always, you can comment at the link below!  

Until next month, 

Keep it Simple,
Penelope