WHO Cares?!

Old building, Key West

Quotes of the month:

(Couldn't choose just one 

quote this month... 

so there are 4!)

When I accept me 

no one can reject me.

- Iyanla Vanzant

External power is

looking outside yourself for power and 

trying to manipulate and control 

the external world

so that one feels more powerful 

or more comfortable.

- Gary Zukav

Well I know it wasn't you who held me down

Heaven knows it wasn't you who set me free

So often times it happens 

that we live our lives in chains and 

we never even know we have the key.

- Eagles from "Already Gone"

People are far too involved in their own lives

to devote a lot of time thinking about what’s going on in yours.

- John Holland

I hate to be the one to tell you this.... but I want you to ask yourself WHO is it - - REALLY - - that cares!!!!  All of those things we spend so much time and energy on worrying about.... that all important question....

What will they think of me?

if I don't wear the right clothes,

drive the right car,

have the right job,

look the right way,

hang out with the right people,

date an attractive person,

cook a good meal,

have influential friends,

have smart kids,

know enough,

have enough,

am smart enough,

am enough,

have paint chipping off my building (as in the photo above....)

this list is really endless....... there are as many possibilities as there are people!

Yes, thankfully, there are those people who are benevolent, kind, caring, .......... sympathetic, empathetic, charitable.... etc. There are some people who care in a nice way. I am not talking about them today!

Think about it for a minute. How much time do YOU really spend thinking about the car, house, clothes, etc.... of other people?

Here is the thing that I would like you take away from this month's post. Yes, this is a bit of an over-generalization, but for the most part.....

People are not all that concerned with you! 

According to the John Holland quote above, people are too involved with their own lives.... their own issues, egos and problems.... to spend a lot of time being concerned with yours! 

Here is an exercise to try....

Think of the last time you may have bought something with the idea of impressing others or had concern over what other people thought about you.  Go through each of the following groups with this experience in mind.  

Group 1  Your close friends and family. These are the people that actually do care about you... but not really about your car or your clothes. For the most part they are happy when you are happy. They are sad when you are sad. That is another over generalization, but the point is that usually these people want to know how you are.... FOR REAL.... and think of what you must be feeling in a situation. These people want the best for you and love you just the way you are! 

So, you don't have to prove anything to Group 1.

Group 2  There is huge group of people you know but are not close to. Acquaintances. Maybe people from work or school. People that you see occasionally and chat to. Think... that list of 400 friends on Facebook.  Think of someone in this group...... think about what car they drive? Do you know what kind of car they drive?  Do you think more or less of them because of the car? 

NO! You don't care, right?  Aren't you too busy with work, family, your to-do list  ....and thinking about your own "stuff" to really care about their car? (If you find yourself saying that you do think about, judge and/or care... continue on, I'll address that below.)

So the point is that their car = whatever you are worried about (whatever you chose for this exercise.) They are too busy thinking about their car, job, significant other or whatever their issue happens to be to be that concerned about your dinner party, your house or your education level.

So, you don't have to prove anything to Group 2.

Group 3  Next is the rest of the world that you don't know.... the man selling produce on the street in Cambodia sure doesn't care if drive a nice car ... and you don't really care how many cabbages or bananas he sells, right? (yes, in an ideal world we do care, but no one person has the time or energy to have concern for every other person, individually, in the world.)

The point is that you don't have to prove anything to him or anyone else in Group 3.


So.......  I have a question for you.....


WHO is left?

If it is not your close friends and family.. and not your acquaintances... and not the rest of the people in the world... then who is left?

Who is the person that you need to prove it to?

Who is it that you are really concerned about?

Who is it that cares if you have the right job or education?

Who is left?

Who did you come up with? 

If you find that you do think about other people and their houses and cars, etc.... here is the key.  You think about it inside of your head, how does that affect them? (We are not talking about groups that form around hate, bigotry and violence here... just average people.) How does a (judgmental) thought inside of your head have any affect on someone outside of your head? I'll go so far as to say it negatively affects you more that it does them! (For additional reading see the post titled Judgments, Tiger Woods... and Anthony Weiner... and Rep. David Wu.... and You!)

So... the other way around..... if they think about you inside of their head.... how can it really affect you? The only way a thought in someone else's head can affect you is if you also buy into that thought and believe it too. In reality if you don't hold that thought in your own head, then you won't care what they think (For additional reading on this topic see the post titled Is the Sky Blue?)  ... so, IN REALITY ... it takes us back to the same place..... 


The only thought that really does matter is the one in YOUR head!

And what about tabloids and entertainment "news" shows? People do seem to have an obsession with stars and the gossip surrounding their lives. I believe that the general rule still applies. Maybe they live vicariously through the shows, like to see that others are worse off or see others get into more trouble than themselves (think Charlie Sheen or Lindsay Lohan) or like to judge others (refer back to the paragraph above or post on judgment.) All of these are basically rooted in how the person feels and thinks about themselves.

What is the common factor in all of the above examples?

YOU!!!!!

All that matters is what YOU think about yourself!!!!!!!!

So if you are feeling not smart enough, not attractive enough, like you are not driving the right car, clothes or home..... the only important thought is the one inside of your head! You are the only one that needs to care!

If you are looking to the world to make yourself feel better about some aspect of your life you are looking for what Gary Zukav refers to in the quote above as external power. When one's sense of self comes from what they do for a living, the clothes they wear, the car they drive, the neighborhood they live in..... that is external power. It is looking outside yourself for power and trying to manipulate and control the external world so that one feels more powerful or more comfortable.

External power can go away - you can lose a job, crash a car or lose your appearance through aging. So if your sense of who you are is tied to that job, that car, or how you look - - - when you lose the job, crash the car or start to get old - - - you won't know who you are. It is also ok to be beautiful, rich, drive a nice car or live in a nice house, the key component is tying your sense of self to those external things... or letting them define who you are.

From an interview with Star Jones, she says that at her heaviest, she tried to disguise her weight by increasing the size of her persona. "The hair, the lashes, the nails," she says. "This is the first time since I've been doing television that I've worn my natural nails, because I'm confident enough to not need big long acrylics." This is a subtle example of external power. Defining who she was and hiding behind hair and nails.

When your sense of who you are comes from inside yourself, that is Authentic Power, according to Gary Zukav. It cannot be lost like a set of keys. Zukav says the creation of authentic power is a process. Once you create it, it can never be taken away from you. Or to put it a different way, in the words of the Eagles above, we are the ones who hold the key!

As always, please leave your comments below by clicking the link below.

Until next month,

Keep it simple!

Penelope

Whole and Complete

Photo of the Month:

Cherry Blossoms, Maryland, March 2012

Quotes of the month:
Never be ashamed 
of the scars that life has left you with.  
A scar means that the hurt is over,
the wound is closed and you endured!
- unknown

Whole and Complete
Just the way you are!
- Billy Joel, (with a little editorial license...)

I recently went to see the cherry blossoms in the photo above.  These are not the well-known blossoms on the Tidal Basin in downtown Washington, DC but further out in Maryland.  A neighborhood planted the same type of trees at the same time (100 years ago!)  The trees on the Tidal Basin are beautiful, but have been replaced over the years.  The trunks of the cherry trees become gnarled and "ugly" over time.  The ones downtown are kept "beautiful" for the public to "oooohhh" and "aaawwww" over.  


I couldn't help thinking that these trees were even MORE beautiful than the trees on the display for the public downtown.  Sure, the trunks were old and "gnarled" but the trees themselves had an even deeper beauty!  The limbs reached over the street and met each other at the top....  Even the trunks reflect what is talked about in the quote above... a beauty that comes with life experience.  A beauty that says you are whole and complete... here and now... just as you are!  For those of you that have been with me for a while, you may recognize this as a re-post from year #2.  I will start back with new posts soon.  There are so many of you that have joined us more recently!  To ALL of you, please enjoy....


Look around you right now - what do you see? I see stacks of laundry that 1) need to be washed, 2) need to be folded or 3) need to be put away, 4) floors that need to swept and  5) dishes that need to be washed!   I could go on, but I am sure you can see your own “to-do” list in front of you. The things on this “to do” list will get done….


Come in a little closer. Put your awareness closer in to where you are. What do you feel? I feel heat coming in through the vent. What this Florida girl is doing in Minnesota (and now Maryland) is still a mystery to me (paraphrasing a line from another singer, Jimmy Buffet!) Anyway, maybe you feel something different - a fan blowing, a dog laying at your feet, the chair under you, the mouse or keyboard under your hands…..


Come in a little bit closer. What do you sense? Feel what your body is telling you. Are you hungry? Cold? Hot? Comfortable?

Can you come in any closer? Is there really ANYTHING you need in this moment? Right here, right now….


Right about now, I can hear a few of you saying, “Sure I need one thousand dollars…. Or one hundred thousand dollars…. Or one million dollars….. Right now!”


Really? Do you really need it right here and right now? How would that change or add to WHO you are in this very moment? The very first thing it would do, is add 3 or 4 things to your “to-do” list!


Maybe you are saying, “I need a boyfriend or girlfriend, or a husband or wife.”
Really? Right here? Right now? (I can tell you FOR SURE, that will add to your “to-do” list!) : )


It might be a “want,” to share your life with someone special, and that is fine, but in this moment, right here, right now, you do not NEED another person to complete you, add to who you are, change or improve you in any way.


Maybe you need to exercise, eat or shower. These are all fine things to do to care for your body, but in this particular moment RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW, even that you do not need to do.


Maybe you have scars like the cherry tree trunks above... allow that to be a symbol for you of Who you have become and what you have OVER come!  


Maybe your health is not what you would like it to be. Let’s all take one full deep breath - can you feel your lungs expand? Can you feel your chest and stomach rise and fall? Can you find your pulse somewhere on your body and feel the blood flow through your veins as your heart beats? Just feel it for a moment as you take another breath. Can you feel that you are alive?   


Right here, right now.


Truly is there anything missing from THIS moment? Right here, right now?


If you have read this far, my suggestion would be to take a few additional minutes to sit in this stillness we have created together. Your mind, your ego, your internal voice, will start up soon enough... and tell you to get back to that "to-do list."  Even if you only glimpse it from reading this post, if you can sense the stillness, the peace, the sacred internal space, or consciousness, allow yourself a moment or two to memorize this place. Carry this peace and stillness into the world with you as much as possible and return to the memory when you need to…. Or to this post to re-energize!


I will leave you with one last thought from the writing of Iyanla Vanzant.  She says, "Profound inner Peace does not come from fixing yourself.... it is the result of discovering that you are already whole."


Until next month….
Keep it simple!
Penelope

Taking Stock/Mindfulness 2012

Photo of the month:

This one step.... Florida, May 2001

Quote of the Month:
Your entire life journey ultimately consists
of the step you are taking at this moment.
There is always only this one step,
and so you give it your fullest attention.
-Eckhart Tolle

It is hard for me to believe this blog is in its 4th year! When I began, I thought there would be 6 or 7 posts....  and now several years later, there are more than 50.  I still feel as though I've scarcely scratched the surface.


Some of you may recognize this post from the first year, though so many new people have joined us on this journey since then.  Given my recent abrupt life change, my writing has taken a back seat for a (short) while.  I thought it might be fun and appropriate to re-run a few popular/meaningful posts.  This one is on mindfulness.


Mindfulness simply means that we are paying attention. Paying attention to what we are doing, what we are feeling and everything that happens around us in the present moment. Often we go through life on autopilot. We act or react unconsciously or out of habit. This does not allow us to choose our response to a given situation. With practice we can begin to take more control and switch off the autopilot, learning to be fully aware of our sensations, thoughts, emotions and responses.


Do not set a goal to be mindful ALL the time, just to be there as often as you remember to. NO ONE [except possibly those who live in the mountains at a monastery] can be mindful ALL of the time.  I even doubt that they are mindful ALL of the time!  Most of us are doing well, if we remember to be mindful for a few seconds, 2 or 3 times a day! Sometimes, I go whole days without remembering... so the idea here is to challenge yourself to do it as often as possible while at the same time being gentle with yourself!


One can think of mindfulness in the example of a tightrope walker. When walking on a high wire, one's attention can be no where else. The walker's full attention is on the step they are taking at that moment, the placement of the foot and where the weight is placed in the foot. I had a similar experience one winter walking down steep snow covered steps. It was of utmost importance to be aware of each step and where I placed my foot, so that I would not fall. Walking these steps daily for a number of weeks that winter helped raise my own mindfulness which has carried over into every day life.

There are a number of simple ways one can practice mindfulness in daily life. A posting on Oprah's web site listed a number of suggestions for increasing mindfulness. A few of those are listed below....

Breath - When you wake up in the morning before getting out of bed, notice your breathing. Take a few deep, comfortable breaths.  This can also be practiced at any time of the day!

Motions - Be aware of how your body feels as you move from lying down to sitting up, standing and walking.

Eating - Pay attention as you eat. Chew slowly and completely, and notice the textures and flavors of your food.  This is one that many of us can improve on!  I have taught my younger son to "savor" his food, especially dessert, which makes it enjoyable for a longer time!

Listen - When talking to another person, take a moment just to listen, appreciating the person's experience of the world, though it may be different from your own. Try not to begin formulating your own response until they have finished speaking.

Walking - Practice mindful walking, consciously placing your attention on each foot as it connects with and leaves the ground. (As I did on the snowy steps!)

Standing - When standing in line or waiting, use the time to feel your feet on the ground and notice how you are holding yourself.

I'll add - Completing Chores - doing repetitive chores with awareness rather than rushing through them to get finished. I have a friend who loves to wash dishes and another that folds laundry more peacefully than anyone I've every seen!

Once, while cleaning green beans [with my laundry folding friend] we seemed especially in the moment and enjoyed the actual process of cleaning the green beans together. This reminds me of how families came together in the past and prepared food together. This is something our fast-paced society misses out on in the drive through world today.  My simple suggestion this month is to do as Eckhart Tolle suggests in the quote above and give your full attention to the step you are taking at this moment, no matter what that step is.


Feel free to comment at the link below!


You may also enjoy the post titled...... "Are you Breathing?"
To read last month's post, simply scroll down or click here.... What's "Write" with the World? 


Until next month....
Keep your spirituality simple!
Penelope

What's "Write" with the World?

Note: 

For those of you who do not know me personally, it seems important to tell you here... this post was written on January 2nd, 2012.  On the following morning, January 3rd, 2012 things did not seem "write" with my world. My 47 year old husband passed away suddenly and very unexpectedly. The cause has yet to be determined, but appears to be heart related. I debated about taking this post down, but intuition has guided me to "walk my talk," and keep it posted, just the way it is.  My life suddenly felt "upside down" but within that, there are still many things "write" with the world. Choosing to place energy and attention on these things has been one of the things that has assisted me and my family in dealing with those things that may not otherwise seem right, right now. I suspect there may be future posts dealing with some of the other things we have gone through and learned.... but for this month, I will Simply dedicate this post to Julio. 

************************************************************************************

Photo of the Month

Field of Sunflowers, MD, September 2011

Quote of the month:

Your attitude about who you are and 

what you have is a very little thing that makes
a very big 
difference.
-Theodore Roosevelt

Happy 2012!

I'll start by saying that, yes! I know that I used the wrong "write" (right) in the title! I did this on purpose! If it bothers you, my suggestion is to review October's post on Perfection!  : )  After making the annual Christmas trip to Florida and being with my Spanish speaking in-law's family.... along with my broken Spanish... the conclusion is, if understanding has taken place it can be considered successful communication, regardless of how it happened! Gesturing and pointing counts! 

What prompted this post is that it seems recently, I've heard or been involved in a number of negative conversations. I am not putting my head in the sand, saying that everything is wonderful or even donning rose-colored glasses. The economy and politics rank high on the list of things people seem to be complaining about.  Knees and big toes were on the list with my college friends.  (This seems exceptionally unfair given that we frequently toasted to them in college! "To love, health, happiness, big toes, knee caps and friends!")

My Simple suggestion this month is to give Teddy Roosevelt's quote above a try and give AT LEAST equal time to what is right in the world. Maybe even try giving it a little MORE time and attention than given to what is "wrong." 

I can hear the chorus of nay-sayers out there..... like what? Nothing's right!!!! If you will bear with me for a moment I will attempt to prove the chorus wrong!

Just for this moment .....let's start with the fact that the sun came up on January 1st, 2012 (1)... and it came out again this morning, January 2nd (2)!  Even if it is raining, cloudy or even snowing where you are, the sun is still up there!

Next, you are breathing (3)! And if you are reading this, I will assume that you at least have access to a computer (4) and the Internet (5).... maybe even a cell phone (6).... and let's add functioning electricity (7). That already puts you amongst the most fortunate of the world's inhabitants. I am going to add spell check (8) to my list of positive things as I've used it half a dozen times already in this post! (If I missed one along the way, I'll again refer you to the October post on perfection!)

There are many things that we take for granted every day.... our hearts (9) beat and our lungs (10) breathe without us having to think about it (11). What if we had to remember to beat our hearts? How many of us would get sidetracked on irrelevant details? No one! Or they would not last long! Let's throw in hearing (12), eyesight (13), touch (14), taste (15) and smell (16)!  How amazing is that? If one of these is not functioning or not as well as it used to be, you still have the other senses to assist you. Most of you can probably walk (17) or have some means of mobility (18). Do you have a vehicle (19) or access to public transportation (20)?  Don't even get me started on how useful hands (21) and fingers (22) are! 

Most of you probably have a roof over your head (23) and a bed to sleep in (24).... or at least somewhere to go where someone will take you in (25). Do you have comfortable sheets (26) and pillows (27) on your bed (28)? Is there adequate food (29) in your kitchen (30)?  Do you have warm (31), running (32), clean (33) water (34) in your shower or bath (35)?

Most of us have access to shopping (36) where we can purchase nourishing (37) food (38) and household "necessities" (39) such as paper towels (40) and Playstation 3's (41)!  Next time you are in the grocery store, just take a moment and look at the abundance (42) of items available!  I especially like to do this in the produce area (43)!  There are generally several varieties (44) of apples (45), tomatoes (46) and lettuces (47) just to name a few! What about that snack aisle (48)!?

You may say that these are very basic things.... so basic that you expect them to be there in the morning when you wake up, along with the sun and your breath! What if one of them was not there one day?  What if your home suddenly did not have a bathroom one morning? What would your life be like? Would you appreciate it then?  

Next time you find yourself complaining about something... anything.... I've given you a list of 48 things you can refer to.  Why 48?  That is Simply the number I got to writing this post.  I'll give you one more... a beautiful field of sunflowers in the photo above (49)!  

If you are reading this, I am willing to bet that you can easily be grateful for well over half of the things listed in this post! Try focusing even a minimal amount of attention on any one of them!  See how it can change your perspective!  See if you can also see what is "Write" with your world!  Let me know what you find!  Feel free to comment at the link below!

Keep it Simple!

Penelope

It's a Wonderful Life

From: It's a Wonderful Life

Quote of the month:

Strange, isn't it?

Each man's life

touches so many other lives.

When he isn't around

he leaves an awful hole, doesn't he?

-Clarence, Angel, 2nd class

I just finished watching my favorite movie.... not just my favorite Christmas movie, but my favorite movie! It's a Wonderful Life.


If there is anyone who is not familiar with it, it is a classic movie in which George Bailey, played by Jimmy Stewart decides everyone would be better off if he had never been born. Clarence the Angel, in an attempt to save George's life, gives him the opportunity to see what it would have been like had he never been born. Suffice it to say that George realizes he has touched far more lives than he could have ever imagined and begs to live again. Seeing how many lives he has touched, and the difference he has made to his town... not to mention helping Clarence earn his wings, George realizes that, despite his problems, he really has "a wonderful life."

No matter which holiday you celebrate, or even if you don't celebrate any of them, the theme in this classic movie can be appreciated by all.  The Simple idea I'd like to leave you with was stated in a Daily OM newsletter.... Everything you do matters! What follows is a reprint, with permission, of that newsletter....

It is easy to believe that the only way to initiate profound transformation is to take extreme action. Each of us, however, carries within us the capacity to change the world in small ways for better or worse. Everything we do affects the people in our lives, and their reactions in turn affect others. As the effect of a seemingly insignificant word passes from person to person, its impact grows and can become a source of great joy, inspiration, anxiety, or pain. Your thoughts and actions are like stones dropped into still waters, causing ripples to spread and expand as they move outward. The impact you have on the world is greater than you could ever imagine, and the choices you make can have far-reaching consequences. You can use the ripple effect to make a positive difference and spread waves of kindness that will wash over the world.

Should the opportunity arise, the recipient of a good deed will likely feel compelled to do a good deed for someone else. Someone feeling the effects of negative energy will be more likely to pass on that negative energy. One act of charity, one thoughtful deed, or even one positive thought can pass from individual to individual, snowballing until it becomes a group movement or the ray of hope that saves someone’s life. Every transformation, just like every ripple, has a point of origin. You must believe in your ability to be that point of origin if you want to use the ripples you create to spread goodness. Consider the effect of your thoughts and actions, and try to act graciously as much as possible. 

A smile directed at a stranger, a compliment given to a friend, an attitude of laughter, or a thoughtful gesture can send ripples that spread among your loved ones and associates, out into your community, and finally throughout the world. You have the power to touch the lives of everyone you come into contact with and everyone those people come into contact with. The momentum of your influence will grow as your ripples moves onward and outward. One of those ripples could become a tidal wave of positivity. 

Just as Clarence says, each man and woman's life really does touch so many others. Do not underestimate your influence on the world! It really is A Wonderful Life!
If you have a few minutes... there is a clip in the post below of the ending of my favorite movie! Enjoy!


I wish each and every one of you a very happy holiday and a safe and peaceful New Year!
Penelope

Video Clip

The Magical Mystery....

Photo of the month:

Full Moon, over Pacific, May 2010

Quotes of the month:

....waiting to take you away

waiting to take you away!

-The Beatles


Each one of us has a unique thing to give.... 
which is who we are!
- Tim Freke

In 1967, the Beatles put out the Magical Mystery Tour album/movie. There are several different interpretations of the words and music that I am not going to get into. My Simple question this month is an invitation to have your own Mystery experience..... see if it takes you away!

• Have you ever stopped to think about the actual chances that YOU are HERE on the earth?
• And the chances that YOU are HERE in the FORM and appearance that you are?
• And let me just add that YOU are HERE, NOW, in the days of electricity and the Internet, rather than in the days of Columbus, Julius Caesar or the cavemen?

I'll skip the biology lesson here, but we know that conception is a numbers game. Recently there was a show on the Discovery Channel called, Life before Birth, that goes over this in much more detail. I suggest it, if you are interested more in the specifics. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-QFNhTliYCM&feature=relmfu

Biologically, we are set up to perpetuate the human race, but in order for that to happen, nature has set it up so that chance is on its side. The possible combinations of genes are endless. But HERE you and I are, NOW! This is amazing to me!

To illustrate this further, I am going to share my first personal experience with this. I was 10 or 11 and my parents were divorced. I want to stress that neither of my parents spoke negatively to me about each other. This was nearly 40 years ago, before there were TV talk shows about these topics, so I applaud them both and am grateful for them somehow knowing that was important. At any rate, there was one particular time, when my mother must have said something somewhat negative about my father. I do not recall specifically what it was, but I remember saying to her, "If you hadn't married him, you would not have me." She replied with what I know was meant to be reassuring at the time, "I would have had you with someone else." I had had enough biology in school by this time to realize that was NOT true. She may have had a child, but even in my 10 or 11 year old brain, I knew that it would NOT have been ME!

Here is the part that really struck me in that moment.... take a moment to think about this in your own life. Had your mother had a child with someone other than your father......

• Your mother would have had a child and 
• she would not have known the difference....... 
• you are the only one who could know the difference, but 
• that is only because you are here.... you were born. 

You and I can only have this thought because we were born. If our mothers had had a child with someone else, we would not be here and could not be having this thought. Can you think about this in your own life?  What does it make you feel?

Another example, whether you like Oprah or not, one has to admit she has an amazing life. I heard her say that her mother and her father were only together one time. Once! What are the chances that she would be born at all? Let alone in the form and with the drive to succeed that she has? Some of this may be also due to environment and I don't want to turn this into a debate on nature vs. nurture, just Simply another example.

Has either of these examples stirred your own sense of being-ness?

I have one more example for you to watch to think about the mystery of our Universe and our place in it. I encourage you to watch this short video that my son pointed out to me.  I have embedded it here in the post, but if you have trouble viewing it, here is a link..... 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEheh1BH34Q

The message at the end of the video that you are not the center of the Universe is NOT my message here. My Simple suggestion this month is just to watch the video and then "sit with" the enormity of the Universe. Again, think about the chances that we are here at all, flying through space on a rock, in the vast expanse of the Universe??


It is that time of year... the month when I write about gratitude and ask you to think about what you are grateful for in your own lives. This November, I am Simply going to suggest that as we in United States sit down to eat our turkey this week, consider the fact that YOU ARE HERE, NOW! Consider the chances that you are here at all and consider the idea that YOU matter Simply because you were born!  Each of us is unique and each has their own gifts and talents to bring to the world!  I, for one, am grateful for that!

If you would like to contribute to our community Gratitude list, click here....

http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=8457770897014195182&postID=9084060711879197024

To read a previous post on gratitude.... click here

http://simplyspirituality.blogspot.com/2010_11_01_archive.html

One last suggestion for gratitude will echo something I wrote last month about perfection. Last month I talked about the "glass half full" vs. half empty. Gratitude is similar. If you look at a glass filled half way and picture only the part that you do not have, you will be unhappy. But if you "start from zero" or start from empty and see what you DO have, you will be much more satisfied. 

Again, to echo last month, an important point here is that you will be in physically the same place either way. The only thing that has changed is your perception, perspective or your point of view. It's your choice!

Until next month,

Happy Thanksgiving!

And keep it Simple!

Penelope

Perfect!

Photo of the Month:

Horizon, Gulf of Mexico, December 2007

Quote of the Month:

We are victims of the rules we live by.

-Anonymous 

The quote above was given to me by my good friend, Debbie. This quote suggests something that my mother has said throughout my life..... we tend to place our own limits on ourselves. There are lots of rules we live by... some are useful. We all drive on the same side of the street for example. Can you imagine how chaotic it would be if there wasn't a rule about that?


There are other ideas or beliefs we hold that may not be as useful. They guide our decisions in life and may be limiting us in some way.  Much of what I write on this blog is aimed at looking at things from a different perspective.... or at least considering that there may be more than one way to look at something. During the last several weeks, I've had various conversations with different people about perfection in different areas of their lives.  So that seems an appropriate topic this month.


What is it to be perfect? It is defined in the dictionary as conforming absolutely to an ideal type. It also says entirely without flaws, defects or shortcomings.

Is perfection attainable? It is an ideal. Is it possible to reach an ideal?

Have you ever been by the ocean, as in the photo above?  Or, maybe on a cruise ship? Or driving on a flat area of land? As you move towards the horizon, you get the sense that you are going towards it. In ancient times, when the world was believed to be flat, it was thought one would arrive at the horizon and then fall off. But what really happens? As you approach the horizon, it moves and in reality, one can never reach the horizon. It is somewhat like this with perfection. That as an ideal, it is something that can never be reached.

Some of you who have known me for a long time know that in my former life, my first real job out of college was as an auditor for the IRS... really! I know it doesn't seem to fit, but it's true! It wasn't my favorite job, but I did learn a lot there.

When looking at an issue, say charitable contributions, I would ask to see the taxpayer's receipts to verify the expense claimed on their tax return. Sometimes, the receipts would not exactly match up with the amount claimed, sometimes there wouldn't be enough receipts or sometimes the receipt may not be allowable. (Can you imagine that?) I don't want to turn this into a desertion on tax, but I want to use this example because it applies to what we are going to talk about next.

Most taxpayers wanted me to assume the number on the tax return was accurate and start from there, only subtracting from that a receipt that the taxpayer could not verify.

What my job required me to do was use zero as the starting point and only add to it what the taxpayer could actually verify.

A Simpler way to look at it is the analogy of the glass being half full or the glass being half empty.  One can either choose to see themselves as "half-full" by acknowledging all that they are or "half-empty" compared to some perfect ideal.

So, if one holds a rule or belief that they must be perfect, it is somewhat like starting with the full amount.... or holding the ideal image and then subtracting your "flaws" from it.  That is, comparing yourself to the ideal it and noticing all of the ways where you fall short or considering oneself as "half empty." Generally this type of comparison makes one feel bad about themselves. Feeling bad about oneself often makes people feel less energetic and like they want to do less.

Instead, I suggest that you "start from zero" and add to that all of your positive characteristics. Then look how far you have come. Look at where you are today and compare that to where you were last month, last year or 10 years ago. You may in fact find that you have grown and changed more than you have realized and see the glass as "half full." This type of comparison generally makes one feel good about oneself. Feeling good about oneself often makes people feel more energetic and like they want to do more.

**Important point here - you are in the SAME place no matter which way you decide to look at it. The only thing that changes is your rule.... or your perspective and your state of mind.

If you have trouble looking back or remembering, my Simple suggestion this month would be to write or journal, even if only a few lines once a week or once a month... when you have time. Looking back at this periodically can give you a better perspective on how far you have come. Sometimes even looking back at an old letter or e-mail might do this for you... or even look at your high school yearbook. See what you wrote about then or what you thought was important.

It is important to make a distinction between doing our best and being perfect. As Don Miguel Ruiz suggests in The Four Agreements, "Always do your best." What your best is will change over time and be different under different circumstances. As long as you have done the best that you can, you will have peace of mind.

For another perspective to consider.... in a post called Whole and Complete I suggest that if you can bring yourself Present, here and now, nothing is really missing in this moment.  You may also enjoy, You Can't do it Wrong.

I would love to hear your feedback as well as any comments or questions you may have.  Maybe you have a quote you would like to send for future use! You can do this by clicking the "comments" link below, at the end of each post.  If you prefer, you may also send comments to me directly at penelope@simplyspirituality.com.

Until next month....

Keep it Simple!

Penelope